[black-roses]

I think I've just been feeling overwhelmed I just feel so powerless right now. I don't know why after all of a sudden being triggered by my friend complaining could trigger me about my friendship with Ben. I'm just so tired but it's like I ended that friendship last year why am is it catching up with me the overwhelm I felt? I guess probably because I knew I overstayed in that friendship and wish I could have done it differently. I just think how some people are just conniving emotional vampires and I feel like I was blinded to how he was trying to manipulate me to feel sympathy or even like him back. I just feel resentful you can't just manipulate someone into loving you but what makes me sad, is I don't want to lose that caring part of me, I don't want to become unfeeling and keep people at a distance. I'm just sad and exhausted for feeling for other people for so long I forgot about me and the fears I have. I guess I probably overstayed that friendship because I was fearing being alone but I never want to be manipulated again because of my own fears. I guess I just have to be discerning when things don't feel right. Lots of things hold me back from talking to the people I want fear of rejection but somehow it's easily for me to talk to people of a low vibration I don't get that to be honest. I just wish I could get over my fears of rejection and just talk to this person I want to. I just feel so many things right now and I'm just sick of all the negative thoughts I am having right now

[Yaowen]

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I hope things get better.

[black-roses]

Took me till now to realise he was manipulating me to have feelings for him. Now I just have to be aware in the future I guess