Constantly triggered

Box breathing works well for me for relieving anxiety.

Sorry if you wrote about this and I missed it: Can the person who is prescribing your pmeds find a therapist for you?

Thanks for your reply! I’m going to use deep breathing exercises while I’m at work if I have an anxiety attack. My primary care doctor really will only refer me to the terrible therapy practice my healthcare organization provides. I’ve tried two therapists from there already who were awful.

I've had since Wed off from work due to the Fourth of July USA Holiday on Thurs. I only ventured out once from my home this whole time, aside from running necessary errands. on Friday I had had enough of everything, I threw in the towel for the day, and decided to go drinking at a local bar within walking distance to my home. And what happens at the bar? I sat by myself at the bar, and the one person sitting near me struck up a conversation with me. We talked for a couple of hours. After that much time of chatting, he decides to tell me that he is protected by the mafia and that he is in an open marriage and would love to come home with me.

OMG. I am beginning to feel that I am far better off just hiding in my home. At least for now. I am attracting all the wrong kinds of people every time I venture out. Yeah, I know it was a bar, and therefore, it's far more likely I'll meet someone sketchy. But it is becoming really strange that nearly every time I try, it's always the nutty ones who come and talk to me and try to befriend me.

Yes, my wife says that she tends to attract nutty folks and "whack jobs." For example, she got me!

(No offense to anyone here matching these descriptions.)

Hmm, seriously, "I am attracting all the wrong kinds of people every time I venture out." Do you suppose that's an exaggeration? I hope you don't let your fears hold you prisoner in your home.

lol… well that’s me too!! No, it’s not an exaggeration. The first woman who befriended me turned out to be a rage filled drunk who became totally belligerent with me at a concert for no reason and screamed at me in the middle of the crowd; the second woman who befriended me, her ex boyfriend wants to literally kill her, so she’s totally in hiding and thinks everyone is out to get her, then the third woman who befriended me turned out to be a gossipy highly toxic narcissist who wanted me to pander to her every need. Good Lord. Yeah so I’ve had my fill in the last year.

Holy cow. My anxiety symptoms were so bad today at work that I froze at my computer for a large portion of my work day. I’m scared.

Again today, it happened. This time when my brain stopped working I thought I maybe just needed coffee. I got two strong iced coffees. 1-2 hours later, my brain froze again. I couldn’t focus. It took me 2 hours to write one email. I went home. I spoke with a nurse who prescribed a new anti anxiety med 9-10 days ago. She wants me to stick with it and see how I feel in another week. She said it can take 2 or even 3 weeks to truly take effect. She’s referring me to a psych nurse now. I also received a referral today for a trauma therapist. Ok so there’s some progress in the right direction. But total brain freeze, 2 days in a row at work, making it too difficult to focus? I told my best girlfriend that it almost felt like my brain has gone into a state of shock. I can’t remember what I did the day before. I go into a room and forget why and what I was doing. I’m getting chores done and am able to care for my cat. I close the curtains when I’m home. I’m so on edge when I drive in town. Thinking I could see my abusive ex husband at any time, anywhere, or even driving by my home. I feel claustrophobic.. him moving so close to me is having a severely negative impact on my mental health. It’s getting worse since I spotted him three times in the last month. I feel stalked and abused all over again, a full year after our divorce. I’m being retraumatized with him living so close by. I was so happy for a whole year following the divorce.. until he moved right back into my neighborhood. I believe he did this deliberately to ruin my life. He did this right after he learned I had been dating. Now I close my curtains. I feel like a traumatized petrified person hiding in my home. How can I work? How am I going to make it through work tomorrow? This is horrible. Absolutely horrible.. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.

I read last night that PTSD can do this to a person's brain and cognitive functioning. I drove home from work yesterday on constant alert for danger. I woke up this morning with the same danger alerts immediately on. My heart is racing. My thoughts are racing.

I pray that this trauma therapist gets in touch with me ASAP.

I'm going to tell my boss I need to work from home again today.