I hate how that weirdo ruined like affection and sexuality for me all I think about is all that awful harassment over the years and I think it emotionally broke to me to a point where anyone wants to give me affection said man I still get like teary. I mean I have attachment issues most likely anxious avoidant one but this just still makes me just not feel good feelings towards men and I don't like that. Just really destroyed what little trust I already had for them. So idk I just hope next year is better that's it. Also I feel completely destroyed by men and there sexual prowess and just exploition. I don't really know how to around men I just lost whatever foundation of normalcy around them and I just don't know what to do but cry. People say I should put restraining orders on him. I'm just really sick of feeling like I'm being watched by him. I just don't trust anyone I'm uncomfortable. Just seen no love from men and it's like a massive gaping wound when I just want to be respected and have normal relationships just want to have a normal life. It's just uncomfortable I hate it her and I hope next year is normal for me.
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