I'm consumed by GUILT!!!

Hi Everyone,

I was glad to find a forum for "dependent personality disorder's"... I've been on my own for over 20 years, but b/c of chronic pain and depression, I lost everything including my nursing career, friends, fiancee and my home, etc... I had to move back home with my mom & s-dad. This is a very toxic environment for me to be in and all of my doctors/specialists/counselor's...have told me that I "must move away from the dysfunction that I'm living with. In addition, I've fallen into the caretaker roll with my mom and s-dad, and I'm not up to the task physically or emotionally! I must move...yet I have so much guilt when I think of leaving them now that they are older and not in good health. But, my own health is failing fast and I can't get Medical Assistance unless I move out and into my own place, b/c the County I live in, includes my mom and s-dad's income as my own! I need a lot of support to let go of these guilt feelings. My mom and s-dad do not feel guilty at all about my health issues and have no mercy when I'm in such horrible pain... As long as I'm here they have someone to help with (or totally do) the cleaning, vacuuming, laundry, errands, etc... I am in therapy and am on SSDI disability, so my income is shameful! I don't know what to do. I know I'm an excellent codependent which stems from being raised in a very violent/alcoholic/dysfunctional atmosphere. I do attend al-anon and ACOA meetings (pain permitting). Any support, suggestions, friendships, etc... would be GREATLY appreciated!
Thanks so much,
Kathy K.
willow215@gmail.com