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#1
Oct 11, 2011, 04:13 AM
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I believe part of my DPD I am dependent on routine. I "freak" out when something goes out of sync because I am not sure what to do. My therapist has tried twice to get me to every 2 wks my emotions go all over the place. If he cancels because he is sick or something comes up or vacation time I am fine because I know the reason behind it and I am okay. Therapy is just a example I could think of right now but I am sure there are other things as well. I am wondering if anyone else is dependent on routine?
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#2
Oct 11, 2011, 04:28 AM
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I think all of us are dependent on routine to differing degrees and there are even parts of our routines that we aren't aware of. I remember when I had to go to therapy one day and got to the big parking lot in the complex and had to go a different "route" through it because my normal route was blocked by roofing trucks. It made me extremely anxious and that gave me pause; how could just driving through a parking lot to my T's office be anxiety provoking?
I thought about it and T and I discussed it and it turned out I was feeling "exposed" by taking a different route and in my childhood that meant being exposed to my stepmother's critical eye. I think we use our routines to hide but that they are more like babies who play peek-a-boo and think because they can't see, the others can't see them. I don't think there's that much "out there" that will harm us automatically like that anymore?
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