[horseshoe94]

i feel like i being a complete annoying person because i am dependent on people i feel like i can never go right either im annoying people and need to get lost or i may not be annying but think i am but really i am...i dont know what to do i want to curl in a ball and hope it all stops its not fair i hate being to much i dont mean to be i try really hard to be a good person whats wrong with me

[Starvin4Perfection]

Originally Posted by horseshoe94

i feel like i being a complete annoying person because i am dependent on people i feel like i can never go right either im annoying people and need to get lost or i may not be annying but think i am but really i am...i dont know what to do i want to curl in a ball and hope it all stops its not fair i hate being to much i dont mean to be i try really hard to be a good person whats wrong with me

I'm really sorry you feel this way. The perception and reality may be very different; I didn't find your post to be annoying at all. Talking about how you feel is healthy. I'm sure you are a good person, are you seeing a therapist?

[horseshoe94]

Originally Posted by Starvin4Perfection

I'm really sorry you feel this way. The perception and reality may be very different; I didn't find your post to be annoying at all. Talking about how you feel is healthy. I'm sure you are a good person, are you seeing a therapist?

yes i see one but she is no help at all. i am thinking of no longer seeing her.

[Starvin4Perfection]

Originally Posted by horseshoe94

yes i see one but she is no help at all. i am thinking of no longer seeing her.

Sorry for the late response, I was out of town! What kind of therapy are you doing? DBT might be a good one for you if you haven't tried it.

[horseshoe94]

Originally Posted by Starvin4Perfection

Sorry for the late response, I was out of town! What kind of therapy are you doing? DBT might be a good one for you if you haven't tried it.

i dont think i'm in any speical theapy. i'm tired of what i'm in now. i'm hoping i can replace it with somehting else.

[horseshoe94]

i'm sorry. i really am. i didnt mean to do anything. i'm sorry. i didnt mean to. i promise i'll try to fix it. i'm sorry.

[Starvin4Perfection]

Originally Posted by horseshoe94

i'm sorry. i really am. i didnt mean to do anything. i'm sorry. i didnt mean to. i promise i'll try to fix it. i'm sorry.

What's wrong??? Sorry I haven't responded, I haven't had a chance to get on my comp for a few days.

Originally Posted by horseshoe94

i dont think i'm in any speical theapy. i'm tired of what i'm in now. i'm hoping i can replace it with somehting else.

Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is the best form of treatment for BPD, usually in conjunction of medication. Maybe you could talk to your T about this to see if it's something that they do or if they can recommend someone for you?

[horseshoe94]

i just stressing out about nothing and it seems to get worse and worse everytime.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I relate very much to feeling "annoying" and when I feel this way, I somehow make it even harder for myself and others.

When I feel this way, I withdraw, I feel frustrated, sad, shut down, ashamed.

I have felt like this most of my life.

Then it seems like ppl want to help me and then again, there goes the vicious cycle:

"See, people keep coming at you cause you are so needy."

Then I withdraw more.

I guess often I break this cycle by trying to fight the shame, but sometimes it still gets me.

Billi

[horseshoe94]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

I relate very much to feeling "annoying" and when I feel this way, I somehow make it even harder for myself and others.

When I feel this way, I withdraw, I feel frustrated, sad, shut down, ashamed.

I have felt like this most of my life.

Then it seems like ppl want to help me and then again, there goes the vicious cycle:

"See, people keep coming at you cause you are so needy."

Then I withdraw more.

I guess often I break this cycle by trying to fight the shame, but sometimes it still gets me.

Billi

i'm really tired of being dependent. i cant take it anymore.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Me too.

Billi

[salus]

WE must grow ourselves from within in therapy

[roadtrip]

I feel the same way a lot of the time and can relate to the push away come close dynamic. Just this week my T said that the messages I received as a child I have internalized and taken on as my own. Has me wondering today if I really am too much for everyone or was just too much for the folks who were around when I was a child. I then believed them and now think I am too dependent, too this and too that when maybe it's not true. Could the parent we adored really not handle my needs as a child well that's hard to think about but maybe it's true too, who knows. If we get the message long enough we take it on as being our truth. Maybe it is true that my needs are too great too. Therapy does help sort this kind of thing out

[salus]

You were a child you had no part in your dependency it was done to you!I also internalized dependency and i'm scared i can't live without it.

[NotSure84]

Originally Posted by horseshoe94

i feel like i being a complete annoying person because i am dependent on people i feel like i can never go right either im annoying people and need to get lost or i may not be annying but think i am but really i am...i dont know what to do i want to curl in a ball and hope it all stops its not fair i hate being to much i dont mean to be i try really hard to be a good person whats wrong with me

OMG!!!!!! That is exactly how I feel! I'm sorry u r going thru this (trust me I know!) But in a way it feels good to even know someone else feels this way.

[HalfSwede]

I feel like this too pretty often. And then I don't have anything to give back to the people who help me.

[pudsey]

I understand completely how you feel I just wish I could chat but I can't seem to open up which is what has brought me here message me if you like im sure talking about our experiences together will at least help us to both come to terms with things xx