Help for my Grandma

I was wondering if there is anyone that can help me. I live with my Grandma and take care of her. In the last few months she has lost her husband and sister. She has always had a bad problem with chronic depression. I feel horrible for her and at times its days before i can get her out of bed. I want to find a support or counsling group in my town or somthing for her to take part in. I dont really understand depressoin that much and have no clue how to help her, she says talking to other people wont help. But i think it will...Does anyone have any ideas??? Im so worried and want to help, but i dont know how..... <font color="brown"> </font>

Hi Krystal!

I would check with your county agency. Social Services has wonderful mental health supports they may be able to help your grandmother. I understand your grandmothers reluctantcy to discuss her depression. It's a very hard thing to deal with let alone letting others in as well. I do agree with you however that it does help to talk about it. I really dont know what other avenue for you to take. Maybe, you can contact her insurance carrier to get a list of therapist that participate with her insurance.
Please let us know how is go's.
Good luck!! : )

Hello Krystal -- Welcome to the Forums.

I think it may be especially hard for your grandmother to talk about depression to others if she share's my mother's generational prejudices. My mother does not believe that depression is a mental "illness"; she believes that it is a personal weakness. Moreover, she believes that one doesn't talk about personal weaknesses or family matters in public or with others. Seeking help also is an indication of personal failure and weakness.

This makes it virtually impossible to get help for my mother of any kind. This Christmas, my aunt (my mom's sister; my mom is 80) was talking with me about mom's increasing isolation. I pointed out mom's rejection of all the alternatives for perking up her life that I had suggested. My aunt concluded by telling me, "Don't you take this on you. The Lord helps those who help themselves."

My point here is that no matter how much you or I want to help our loved ones, we have to be prepared to have our loving help rejected.

Having said that, the previous suggestion to contact Social Services or Mental Health Services is a good starting place. Senior Citizens Centers are another great place to start because they are plugged into all the services that are available. And they may have volunteer members who will be able to talk with your grandmother as peer counselors and will understand her thinking and feeling.

Best wishes with this project. You are a good granddaughter.

Krystal, you may want to try your local senior center. They have activities and a lunch. Most of them will pick up seniors and bring them back and forth to the center. You can also check with your states Area Agency on Aging. Every state has one as well as a Care givers program to help you deal with your grandmother. They offer support groups as well as respite services to give you a break in caring for her. And each state has one of these programs as well. It's a national federally funded program. Check out your AAA's website I guess would be the best place to start. They will be able to give you more information about programs in your area. If you have any more questions, just ask. I work as a case manager for my states aging service so I might be able to track down more information if you get stuck. I use the care giver support program myself to help care for my husbands grandparents. So take care of yourself as well, I know it gets VERY stressful you at times as well. Good Luck, Monty