[bananasarecool]

the little i can remember about what i thought about it before i actually was depressed was thinking that it was purely just "feeling a bit *insert swearword here*. which is probably the same for many people that havent experienced it.
im fifteen and ive now had about a year and a half of this. its been getting worse and its pretty much caused most of my life to break down.
i need to explain it to my boyfriend tomorrow - i cant bear my anxiety related to going outside and letting him down without any proper explanation, my failing at school and my low self esteem tear apart what i think is one of the only good things i have left. and as far as i can see it he'll think of it in one of two ways.
1) he'll think im insane and will run a mile at the "baggage", throwing away six months of whats been keeping me going.
2) he will see it as i used to see depression and think "whats the big deal? why cant she just pull her socks up and get on with it?"

im also now going to talk to my counsellor and gp a lot more about antidepressants, seeing as i dismissed them pretty quickly.

can anyone help me find a way to explain this to him? he is incredibly smart and all, but i know that understanding when youve never experienced it is hard.
thanks guys,
x

[leacon]

No one can really predict how another will react. You maybe surprised at his reaction. I would begin with listing the symptoms and then saying your depression effects you this way. Maybe ask for his support and be willing to answer his questions. If he is someone who runs, maybe he would not be worth your time. You deserve someone who will stand beside you not run away from you.

[Rohag]

leacon said it well. The most important relationships need and indeed thrive on truth. I wish you strength, clear thoughts, and effective words.

[turquoisesea]

I agree with leacon, try not to guess what he will do ahead of time. It is hard to know.

Do know that you are doing the right thing talking to him. The way I see it no matter what he chooses, you will be relieved of the pressures of hiding all this from him, and honestly for the relationship to work in the long run you'll need to tell him so the sooner the better

My advice in telling him...

be upfront and honest about it. I was freaked out when I told my boyfriend what had been going on with me. It took me a while to be able to even say the basic word depression. But I did. The best way is to explain why you wanted to tell him, what it is, and then maybe ask him how he feels.

If he hasn't had depression before, make sure that he can read up on it from a good place or that you can explain it to him, if he asks. Take it step by step - I dunno about you but even experiencing depression I've learne bit by bit, not all at once and it would be a lot to take in all at once =D

Wishing you the best of luck and hope this helps somehow

[justfloating]

Everyone else has pretty much said what I would -- be upfront, don't try to predict how he'll react, and know that either way honesty is your friend right now; it'll relieve a lot of the stress I know you've been feeling from hiding this.

It took me a really long time to tell my dad that I was depressed -- my mom knew, but I was afraid my dad would have a "get over it" reaction, because he's not really a believer in mental health so much as "mind over matter" -- and I actually ended up blurting it out at the airport about an hour before I was due to get on a plane across the Atlantic back to school. But he's been remarkably understanding and helpful about my depression. I don't think he completely understands it, but he tries his best. Sometimes we don't factor love into the equation when we try to predict other people's reactions. If someone cares for you, it's amazing how willing they'll be to support you, even with the things they find difficult to accept or understand.

Good luck!