How do I tell my spouse...

My husband is aware that I've had trouble with depression on and off. He doesn't seem to get that I've been having a more difficult time coping with it lately. His sister has problems with it and he seems so concerned about her, but he doesn't even seem to notice when I mention how I feel, or if he does he just gets annoyed and walks away. I sort of wish that he would encourage me to get help - I can't make myself. I don't know how to talk to him about being depressed. Or maybe, to answer my own quesion, I just can't rely on him and need to deal with it on my own.

I'm sorry that hubby isn't being very supportive of you getting help.

You know something though? The help won't work if you aren't doing it for you. You will be the one in therapy, you will be the one taking the pills (If you are prescribed some).

Sometimes loved ones can't accept someone having a mental illness. I wonder if that is what your hubby is thinking. "I can handle my sister being ill, but not my wife".

Making that first call was scary. You can do it.

Sometimes expressing what we are going through to those closest to us is extremely difficult. Unfortunately, your spouse has seen first hand how depression can affect someone he loves, so deep down he may be afraid to face the reality that his own wife is going through the same thing. Keep trying to let him know what is going on, because chances are in the long run he will be y our biggest support system.

PSJ

Your post breaks my heart b/c I was depressed last year and did not tell my husband. I went to see a therapist once a week and my family practice Dr. prescribed Prozac. I still take it a year later. I have never told my husband, and I don't plan to. Trust me, I wish I could have. He just doesn't "get" stuff like this, and I know he would think I was a drama queen, or look at me like I was broken. I grin and bear it and when things get tough for me I just tell myself that I will get through. Here's the irony of this: my husband was just diagnosed with depression and he is on Wellbutrin and Lexipro (and Ambien to sleep). He didn't tell me for about a month; but I knew something was wrong. I thought he wasn't in love with me anymore, or was having an affair! I finally confronted him and said "you've got to tell me what is wrong!" And he cried, and said he didn't know -but he just wasn't happy and didn't feel like doing anything but sleeping...then we both cried and he felt better as the days went on. I still didn't tell him about my "problem" and the Prozac that is supposed to make everything OK. I can't bring myself to do it. I'm not telling you not to tell your husband, but only YOU know your husband and YOU have to do what is right for YOU. As women, we are supposed to be strong; we are supposed to be the caregivers - sometimes when something is wrong, the men in our lives don't know how to deal with it. I know what you are going through, but only YOU know how to work with your problem so you can get through it.

Be as honest if you can. Bring up how he's making you feel right now.

But also realize that you are the one that has to do this, like amazonmom said. He can be there for you, but you need to show him how.