i dont know where should i begin. my life is like turning upside down. i dont see a future for me. i have a dream, an obsession, of what i wanted to be, but now all of them seems like out of reach. people say 'dont give up on your dreams', i gave up, perhaps. im at the lowest point of my life, again i said that for numerous times. i've started it all in the wrong way. i wish i could rewind it all, sometimes i imagined start a new life but its not easy, in fact it sounds impossible. i had a gf who's in love with me, i can see it, i love her, but at most times i feel guilty because she obviously deserved another man way better than me who can support her life, her needs. i cant give her anything right now except my love for her, literally, believe me. im depressed. numb and empty. confused. why am i such a loser, a failure, in everything. i cant do right, not a single thing. my whole life is so full of regret. why cant i just be normal. im such a freak.

[tryingtobeme]

I am so sorry you feel this bad. Do you have a T or pdoc. If not, they may be able to help you. If you do, maybe an appt now would help you? I know for me, if someone will just be a sounding board for me and help me realize there is another side than what I see in that moment, it can help.

Please take care.

[Fuzzybear]

[Rohag]

Turmoil. Rarely fun, but it certainly shakes things up, reshuffles the deck. Maybe you're getting a new life. A future you cannot now see may be forming beyond the limits of your confusion.

Peace & Happiness to you, Perfectsilence!

[ExiExi]

I'm sorry you are feeling low.
You aren't a loser. Losers don't have dreams.
I hope you feel better soon!

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by perfectsilence

i dont know where should i begin. my life is like turning upside down. i dont see a future for me. i have a dream, an obsession, of what i wanted to be, but now all of them seems like out of reach. people say 'dont give up on your dreams', i gave up, perhaps. im at the lowest point of my life, again i said that for numerous times. i've started it all in the wrong way. i wish i could rewind it all, sometimes i imagined start a new life but its not easy, in fact it sounds impossible. i had a gf who's in love with me, i can see it, i love her, but at most times i feel guilty because she obviously deserved another man way better than me who can support her life, her needs. i cant give her anything right now except my love for her, literally, believe me. im depressed. numb and empty. confused. why am i such a loser, a failure, in everything. i cant do right, not a single thing. my whole life is so full of regret. why cant i just be normal. im such a freak.

I can only say that I do understand how you feel, depression wants us to feel this way. Being that you are able to write down how your depression is making you feel is a big plus in my book. I can only tell you what I would do and that is print this post out and show it to your therapist if you have one. If not show it to a local doctor, they will be able to give you some information on therapist and medications if you would like to go that way. Good luck, keep us up to date, hugs for your day.

[googley]

[Amazonmom]

You're not a loser. You are not some freak.

Depression wants us to think that way. Depression wants us to withdraw from relationships with people that love and support us.

If you don't already have a T and Pdoc, I would really encourage you to get some help. Things can get better. I know it doesn't seem that way but believe me. I have been where you are.

[idontknow13]

((((((perfectsilence))))))

thank you all. meant a lot to me...