[justfloating]

I am starting to hate my meds. The desire to curl up in a ball is still there; the desire to hide away from the world is still there. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Before the meds, I could do that -- I was too sick to do anything else. You could not have gotten me out of bed any more than you could have gotten me to flap my arms and fly. It just wasn't going to happen. Now that I'm on meds and they're working, they've made me capable of getting on with my life without getting rid of the desire to hide myself away. I have enough energy to live, it seems, but not enough to enjoy living. It's making me wonder what the point of taking the meds is at all. If I have to suffer from my own thoughts and feelings, wouldn't it be better to become inert and unconscious and let them have me for a while, rather than just dragging myself from day to day while the feelings consume me in public where I can't even react to how terrible I feel?

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by justfloating

I am starting to hate my meds. The desire to curl up in a ball is still there; the desire to hide away from the world is still there. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Before the meds, I could do that -- I was too sick to do anything else. You could not have gotten me out of bed any more than you could have gotten me to flap my arms and fly. It just wasn't going to happen. Now that I'm on meds and they're working, they've made me capable of getting on with my life without getting rid of the desire to hide myself away. I have enough energy to live, it seems, but not enough to enjoy living. It's making me wonder what the point of taking the meds is at all. If I have to suffer from my own thoughts and feelings, wouldn't it be better to become inert and unconscious and let them have me for a while, rather than just dragging myself from day to day while the feelings consume me in public where I can't even react to how terrible I feel?

((((( justfloating ))))) I know what you are saying but I have no answer. Sorry

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( justfloating )))))))))))))))))

[idontknow13]

((((Justfloating)))))

[Naturefreak]

(((justfloating)))
Forgive me .................I feel the same way .
Just enough energy to live and breath . It's horrible.
Never give up hope

[Rohag]

Your intelligence is showing, Justfloating. You're forming questions pdocs and therapists don't particularly like to deal with.

I'm sad for your situation, yet it interests me for my own reasons. My situation seems to be the near inverse of yours. My meds don't raise me to general functionality but are relatively successful in making me not care I'm useless. Well, at least that's the effect of the meds most of the time; I remain subject to short, sharp episodes of severe emotional turmoil.

Originally Posted by Justfloating

If I have to suffer from my own thoughts and feelings, wouldn't it be better to become inert and unconscious and let them have me for a while, rather than just dragging myself from day to day while the feelings consume me in public where I can't even react to how terrible I feel?

I identify with your logic. Now, trying to play therapist's advocate, I might ask, "Don't you want to control when you are functional so that you can go to school and work?" "Don't the meds allow you to be a part of the working world (regardless of how you feel)?"

It's a dilemma, a dilemma stated so well by you and which confronts many of us. We'll wrestle with this together.