[tmac87]

It seems like my depression just creeps up on me without ant type of warning. So when I get depressed I am use to doing some type of self-harmful behavior (usually cutting). I have suffered with depression since I was 12 years old. They say that I have MDD (major depressive disorder). I know that there are alot of good medications out there for depression. The problem is that I am 28 weeks pregnant. So I can't take the medications because they might harm the baby. My OB-GYN doctor suggested ECT treatments. I thought he was crazy, but come to find out that the medications they give you for the ECT treatment doen't even cross the placenta. Also even though they are inducing a seziure you are paralyzed so you don't hurt your self. The ECT treatments have made a HUGE difference in my life already and I have only had 7 treatments. So if I continue to feel depressed all I have to is call the ECT dr. Then let him know whats going on and try to schedule another outpatient ECT treatment. I am also a High Risk for postpardum depression. Although I am making the best choice for the baby, Im sure it will cause some more depression. If anyone has ever gone through with an open adoption please let me know how you coped with it. Sometimes my mood changes so quickly (ie: one minute I am laughing and the next minute I am crying and sometimes its for no reason at all). Ive been like this before the pregnancy. I am getting sick of psych. doctors giving me the run around and telling me that it takes time. I also suffer from PTSD. When I was 4 years old I watched my dad stab my mom 16 times. So I don't do well with alot of people because of trust issues. Well if anybody has any suggestions or ideas on what I can do more of or better. Please PM me if you want to know more.
TMac87

[depressedalaskan]

(((((tmac87)))))

[Tonny]

(((tmac87))

My thoughts go out to you.

When I was younger, I had to go off my meds due to a pregnancy. Add that with the hormones and it is roller coaster no one wants to ride. I also made the choice to give my son up for adoption. It was not easy, but looking back now I have no regrets (one of the few things in my life without them). My brother and me were both adopted, so the decision may have been slightly easier, but hard none the less. The adoption process in my state included talking to a counsellor who specialized in adoption issues. This helped me deal with the decision and how my depression was affected. Especially since my pdoc at the time was not very helpful. I eventually changed docs, scary, but found a doc who was more supportive to my situation.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((tmac87))))

I am really sorry you are going through this. I really understand part of what you said and can feel where you are coming from. I know trust can be a big issue for people especially when you did not have it as a child. I know what PTSD is and what it can cause. I suffer from it as well and there are times when it is not good. I am glad you reached out and I hope you will continue to reach out. We are here to listen and support you in your walk. I know you are in a tough place. I know you do not like it when they say it takes time--but it does take time. Please be kind to yourself and do something for you. You deserve that. Know you can pm me anytime you want to talk. I do care and I am here for you. Sending you gentle hugs if it is okay.

dps