[Naturefreak]

Why are some of us so hard on ourselves at times ?
We call ourselves useless , worthless , inadequate , idiots , stupid , losers , failures , hopeless , and anything else that we can beat ourselves up with. Are we comparing ourselves to people whose lives look so perfect , they have everything going for them. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors . We only see the outside .
The beautiful home , the fancy car , the fun loving family , with many friends , always looking happy . I don't believe it .
Everyone of us here is equally special in our own way .
Everyday you come here you can see how important we all are.
We may tell ourselves that we are some of these untrue things,
But I myself see it differently .
I just see the opposite . It's believing it , that's what can be hard sometimes . We are ALL wonderful people struggling , that doesn't make us worthless , inadequate , idiots , useless , etc.
That makes us human . We ALL struggle .
Be GOOD to yourselves . You are WORTH it.

[Lost71]

((((((((((((Babysteps))))))))))))

I can't speak for others but I go by what I have been told from birth... by father, husband, boyfriend. They can't all be wrong!

I suspect many members here are the same!

Thank You for believing in us, friend!

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by Lost71

They can't all be wrong!

Why not ?

[Lost71]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

Why not ?

Coz they're men, I'm a woman and traditionally that means they are right!

[Amazonmom]

You are right, Babysteps...why do we listen to the stupid, evil DEPRESSION??!?!?!!?!? I'm going to stick earplugs in so that disease can't lie to me!!!!!

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

Why are some of us so hard on ourselves at times ?
We call ourselves useless , worthless , inadequate , idiots , stupid , losers , failures , hopeless , and anything else that we can beat ourselves up with. Are we comparing ourselves to people whose lives look so perfect , they have everything going for them. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors . We only see the outside .
The beautiful home , the fancy car , the fun loving family , with many friends , always looking happy . I don't believe it .
Everyone of us here is equally special in our own way .
Everyday you come here you can see how important we all are.
We may tell ourselves that we are some of these untrue things,
But I myself see it differently .
I just see the opposite . It's believing it , that's what can be hard sometimes . We are ALL wonderful people struggling , that doesn't make us worthless , inadequate , idiots , useless , etc.
That makes us human . We ALL struggle .
Be GOOD to yourselves . You are WORTH it.

And you are hearing this from??? Do we call ourselves these things or does depression?? I think it is depression. It wants to keep us in it's grips. If it didn't make us feel like we do - we would be out with the rest of the world having a good life - not fighting our illnesses. I know this sucks but it is part of our battle to beat depression. I know I used to be one of those people out there. Yes, I have always had depression but not so bad that I could not controle it. Any more I am losing the fight against depression. Without PC and my friends here depression would have won already. I thank you all for that. Hugs to all.

[lynn09]

If it is wrong to abuse people, then it's wrong for us to abuse ourselves - we're people, too. Don't we all have enough people in our lives that will abuse us without us helping them? ((((((((((Everyone))))))))))

[Sabrina]

I know. I have read all the books on negative self talk yet I still seem to do it. It isn't fair to ourselves. We are good people.

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by depressedalaskan

And you are hearing this from???

De... De ...PRESSION.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Babysteps )))))))))))))))))))

[Lost71]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

De... De ...PRESSION.

Don't listen to depression...buy some earplugs!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

De... De ...PRESSION.

ggggrrrrrrrrrrrr at depression

[turquoisesea]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

De... De ...PRESSION.

*claps* well put *loves the icon

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by Babysteps09

De... De ...PRESSION.

That is right, remember that it is lying to you. Hugs for your day.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Babysteps))))

Thank you for this post. And I have often thought of this. Yes, depression tells us these different things and it is good at convincing us of these things and more. And because our self-esteem is so low already, it is not hard to listen.

But so many of us are taught at a very young age that we are worthless, nothing, and bad. I know for me----I used to have to stand in front of the mirror on my little step stool, and repeat over and over that I ws worthless, bad, nothing. I said it everyday for long periods of time and it was ingrained in my brain.

I have so many times been brainwashed through words that were said to me over and over until that is all I knew and believed. I know for me being in a c^^^, they did other things that ingrained in you what they wanted you to think. But just in abusive homes, sometimes you get told things so many times that you believe----whether to stop the abuse or because you have finally just accepted what has been said.

The abuse not only comes from men but from women also. When that is all you know, turning that around becomes very difficult. It takes a long time. Sometimes, you come here and people tell you that you are important, you are a good person and that you are worth being here.

For me, it is sometimes hard to understand or believe that you are telling me the truth as all I grew up with was just the oposite. Reteaching yourself to believe good things is very hard. I am not saying that it is not possible, but it takes sometimes a long time.

Whenever someone says they are ugly, worthless, etc. they are saying what has been reiterated in their minds for so long. Also, so many times, people are still being told this sometimes on a daily basis and sometimes whenever they talk to those who told them these things. For me, being attacked was a daily thing. It was a control thing.

It was something that filled me everyday. I tried to counter it but then was told how wrong I was, how I was making things up, and the threats to never say anything were always present. So because of that, I felt I could never be good.

I was told many lies as a child and I am working on those things but it is hard. So many times, if you can tell people that you are bad and worthless, and you tell them to go away and that you are not worth their time----you can then take the blame for them leaving. You are already expecting it so why not make it happen by telling them what you believe because that is what you have been told so it comes from you first so that they cannot hurt you.

You are already prepared for the bad so that when it happens because you already know it is going to happen, you cannot get hurt. Also, you can say I knew it. It is not right or fair----but it is what is happening for so many.

Yes, you are right, we are not those things----but it takes time to be able to change those things. For most of us----trust is a big issue. And just because someone tells you something, can you trust that?? It is hard and takes time. I know I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall when someone is nice to me or says something nice. You wonder what they want. What do you have to perform for them??

So, I guess I do understand what people are saying and why. No, we need to not listen to depression as it does lie to us. But we also need to realize where others may have come from and what may have been ingrained within. Yes, it can be changed but it takes time and risking what we know to be true to what is really true.

I do thank you for this post. It made me think. No one deserves to be called those names. We are all hurting and going through alot. But together with patience and love we can change those things one day at a time. If we keep putting good in----it will eventually come out. We can change if we try. It is just that it is hard to think another way when you have thought the other way for so long.

dps

[depressedalaskan]

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

((((Babysteps))))

Thank you for this post. And I have often thought of this. Yes, depression tells us these different things and it is good at convincing us of these things and more. And because our self-esteem is so low already, it is not hard to listen.

But so many of us are taught at a very young age that we are worthless, nothing, and bad. I know for me----I used to have to stand in front of the mirror on my little step stool, and repeat over and over that I ws worthless, bad, nothing. I said it everyday for long periods of time and it was ingrained in my brain.

I have so many times been brainwashed through words that were said to me over and over until that is all I knew and believed. I know for me being in a c^^^, they did other things that ingrained in you what they wanted you to think. But just in abusive homes, sometimes you get told things so many times that you believe----whether to stop the abuse or because you have finally just accepted what has been said.

The abuse not only comes from men but from women also. When that is all you know, turning that around becomes very difficult. It takes a long time. Sometimes, you come here and people tell you that you are important, you are a good person and that you are worth being here.

For me, it is sometimes hard to understand or believe that you are telling me the truth as all I grew up with was just the oposite. Reteaching yourself to believe good things is very hard. I am not saying that it is not possible, but it takes sometimes a long time.

Whenever someone says they are ugly, worthless, etc. they are saying what has been reiterated in their minds for so long. Also, so many times, people are still being told this sometimes on a daily basis and sometimes whenever they talk to those who told them these things. For me, being attacked was a daily thing. It was a control thing.

It was something that filled me everyday. I tried to counter it but then was told how wrong I was, how I was making things up, and the threats to never say anything were always present. So because of that, I felt I could never be good.

I was told many lies as a child and I am working on those things but it is hard. So many times, if you can tell people that you are bad and worthless, and you tell them to go away and that you are not worth their time----you can then take the blame for them leaving. You are already expecting it so why not make it happen by telling them what you believe because that is what you have been told so it comes from you first so that they cannot hurt you.

You are already prepared for the bad so that when it happens because you already know it is going to happen, you cannot get hurt. Also, you can say I knew it. It is not right or fair----but it is what is happening for so many.

Yes, you are right, we are not those things----but it takes time to be able to change those things. For most of us----trust is a big issue. And just because someone tells you something, can you trust that?? It is hard and takes time. I know I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall when someone is nice to me or says something nice. You wonder what they want. What do you have to perform for them??

So, I guess I do understand what people are saying and why. No, we need to not listen to depression as it does lie to us. But we also need to realize where others may have come from and what may have been ingrained within. Yes, it can be changed but it takes time and risking what we know to be true to what is really true.

I do thank you for this post. It made me think. No one deserves to be called those names. We are all hurting and going through alot. But together with patience and love we can change those things one day at a time. If we keep putting good in----it will eventually come out. We can change if we try. It is just that it is hard to think another way when you have thought the other way for so long.

dps

Very sorry you had to live like this. So sad that our world is like this. Hugs for your day. Keep fighting you are good people.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Darkpurplesecrets

I was told many lies as a child and I am working on those things but it is hard.

Reminds me of this old saying:

What is learned in youth is like an inscription in stone.

True, those early experiences mark us deeply.

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

It is just that it is hard to think another way when you have thought the other way for so long.

dps

I agree Dps , VERY HARD. Great post , thank you .
Many hugs

[nowheretorun]

great thread Babysteps, ty