[Miss Laura]

I have been depressed for 4 years now. But I am really good at hiding it. However over the past 3-4 months I have been getting worse and worse. Over the past 3 weeks I have started crying for no "apparent" reason. Its been really annoying me. I have been kinda spending more of my time in my room in my bed. I am very sleepy but cant sleep at night and struggle getting up in teh mornings. So I hit a really major rut and I had to speak up. So I spoke to one of my friends. She was like your depressed I think. I was just not wanting to admit it. My other mate thought I had depression months ago and spoke to me about it and I denied it. So U spoke to my 3 mates and they all said I should go to the docs. I really wasnt wanting to. So they told me to call Monday morning. I didn't and they all texted me and I lied and said I had. Then my mate said something to me that really hit me. So late Monday I called and had my appointment yesterday. It's really good to talk. I mean it. I said I dont think I could do it so my mate suggested writting my feelings down. So I did and took this to the Doctor's. She asked me loads of questions and said I do not have Clinical Depression but I am close to it. She wants me to go back in 2 wks time. I am to look at a website and take herbal sleeping pills and stop being so critical to myself. She also wants me to start talking to my friends and to enjoy me. I felt so much better after leaving her office. I asked my mate to come with me as I thought I would chicken out. I felt better known taht someone was there for me. After my appointment we spoke my friend and I and it really helped me. She was also asking me questions- she has some counselling skills which helped me I think. So thats me. Eventually I have gotten some where. I am actually now enjoying life to some extent

[noobinberg]

Congratulations! I'm glad you were able to get some help!

[trevorzero]

It's nice to see a good experience related here. It sounds like help is available to you simply for the asking. A lot of people here are not so lucky.

[littlelou]

well done on taking such a big step. takes a lot of courage to speak up about how you feel

[turquoisesea]

I'm glad you talked to all these people about it, it's really important.

Hoping you feel better soon

[theotterone]

You've taken the hardest step in dealing with your depression. The other hard part is being completely honest about it with the doctor. I've worked with my pdoc for over 9 years now, but it took me time to get to that point of total honesty with him. Good luck and know you have support here!

[Miss Laura]

Thanks guys,

I have been reading up on low self esteem and writting a lot in my journals. I have neglected them for so long that now I can not stop. I am speaking regularly with my friends and I have been going for local walks mainly in my local park.

I know I have taken the 1st huge step and I feel so lucky that I did and so happy that I did. My mates are now looking at me rather than me looking at them.

I think I have a long way to go to be "normal"- define it again?? But I hopefully am getting somewhere.

I am still having my moments but hey I am only human.

I will keep you guys updated

Ps...

If I am not Clinically Depressed what could I be? Just a low mood? I need to get over my protective sheet that I put up, my happy mask I always wear and my in-destructable attitude.

Its ackward for me as I am not use to crying and thats all I am doing