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#1
Oct 30, 2009, 04:35 PM
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I feel like **** because I think I didn't give someone what they needed in chat this afternoon. I was trying and having a conversation in the regular room and they didn't think I was paying attention and left. They were so upset with their life too.
I guess I just really fouled up yet again.. 
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#2
Oct 30, 2009, 04:40 PM
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((((((((((((( Briester ))))))))))))))))
Please try not to be so hard on yourself, you can't always give everyone what they want hun. It sounds like you tried, sending you some hugs 
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 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
 Briester
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#3
Oct 30, 2009, 04:47 PM
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don't be too hard on yourself for the chats. With a live chat comes situations like these - you have to realize that talking in a chat room is not the same as talking in person. It's not your responsibility to give give give and be there every second - nothing against doing other things at the same time too. The thing that IS your responsibility is to be polite and to try to be nice and not offend, not going in completely drunk, that kind of thing
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 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
| Briester
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#4
Oct 30, 2009, 04:56 PM
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Thanks Gimmeice and Turquoise. I really appreciate your kind comments. I try to help when and where I can but do get down on myself when I feel I could have done more.
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#5
Oct 30, 2009, 09:57 PM
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((((((((((((((( Briester ))))))))))))))))
 
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| Briester
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#6
Oct 30, 2009, 10:44 PM
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Quote:
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#7
Oct 30, 2009, 11:05 PM
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(((((((((Briester))))))))))
You were trying to help and you were there for them which shows your warm heart and compassion. Please don't blame yourself, there are many different reasons why people just leave, don't be hard on yourself Sometimes it may make you feel a little better to pm that person and just say you are still there for them if it helps you ..... but it was their decision to leave and is their issue, you are not here as a therapist sweetie, just to offer a listening ear if they require ... sorry you were hurt or made to feel inadequate, to me anyone who is there to listen in the first place has the RIGHT intentions  Ophelia xx 
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The feather landed gently at his feet. The boy looked back up at the sky and let his balloon go. It was a fair trade. ~ quote by Dominic my wonderful son  " As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." ― Marianne Williamson |
| Briester, tryingtobeme
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#8
Oct 30, 2009, 11:48 PM
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((((Briester))))
Thank you for sharing how you feel. I know that sometimes in chat, we want so much to help others. So many times there is so much going on that you cannot possibly know what is needed. It is up to those that are in chat to ask for what they need. I am sure you did your best in reaching out to this person. They may have left for many reasons, one of which could have been they got booted out. That happens sometimes and then you cannot get logged back in. Or maybe they needed to go somewhere or something came up. Sometimes, they just need to take a break. Maybe think about what has been said. Or maybe they are not in a place to hear or listen anymore. It is not a reflection on you. I know you try hard to be there for others and you are. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you think it would help, pm that person and just let them know you are thinking about them. If they feel you did something, they will pm you. Just do the best you can and that is all you can do. It is what is in the heart that matters, and you caring shows your heart. Please take care and remember you are important and just your presence sometimes means more to someone than anything. Especially if they are feeling alone. Be kind to yourself. Thank you again for sharing what you feel. We care and hear you. dps |
| Briester
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#9
Oct 30, 2009, 11:53 PM
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(((((Briester))))))
Another thing to remember is that you don't know what they were thinking. They may have something that came up IRL (a child who needed attention, a meeting to go to etc.) So don't take it personally. I know when I'm in chat I don't always say bye before I leave. Especially if something come up. It could also have been the "boot monster" that booted the person off. I know when I get booted off I don't always have the desire to go through getting back into chat. It's great to talk to people in chat, but know that it isn't your responsibility to be able to support everyone.
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| Briester
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#10
Oct 31, 2009, 06:17 AM
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(((Briester)))) Even professionals can't help everyone, you'd be surprised at how often that happens. I mean everything looks so much more certain and clear afterwards, but that's not the reality you're working in right at the moment you chat, so don't let that hind sight help get you down. We can only act on things as they happen. Thanks for being there, friend
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| Briester
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#11
Oct 31, 2009, 07:13 AM
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 Heres a big hug for you................for just being in chat, offering an ear, trying to support and show compassion. Sometimes we are so exhausted that we can only give a little but remember your words you tried to offer the best that you had at that time. Don't be hard on yourself all any of us can do is to try to give the best that we can at that time. People go in and out of chat for many of their own reasons................i'm sorry that it left you feeling bad but remember you did nothing wrong hun. take gentle care of you right now and know that we care............... sas xx gentle hugs if ok
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 "never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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| Briester, tryingtobeme
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#12
Oct 31, 2009, 08:31 AM
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Thank you silentandscared. Your words really meant a lot to me. Hugs are perfectly fine with me.
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#13
Oct 31, 2009, 08:41 AM
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Hi briester! Pls don't feel down about this i'm sure they don't feel you didn't help. Like you told me, all anyone can do is their best an i'm sure you did! You are a great friend an have helped me loads an i really appreciate it it means so much to me to know that you are there an you care! Hopefully we'll speak in chat sometime! Hugs an best wishes to you! x
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| Briester
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#14
Oct 31, 2009, 09:01 AM
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Thank you Lara. I know you're having a really tough time now yourself and I appreciate your compassion despite your own turmoil. I do hope we can chat sometime too and hope your day gets a little brighter. I'm happy to have helped you in any way I can.
My friend..Chris
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#15
Nov 01, 2009, 04:45 PM
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Please do take care of yourself, okay. Lots of hugs...
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| Briester
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#16
Nov 01, 2009, 06:50 PM
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Don't be hard on yourself. Chat is hard to keep up with, and this happens to all of us. Lines get crossed and you don't always have an opportunity to respond to the right person at the right time. Further, you don't know why the person had to leave or got booted out! You can always put a note on their profile. billieJ
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| Briester
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#17
Nov 02, 2009, 07:12 AM
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Quote:
Chris
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#18
Nov 02, 2009, 07:14 AM
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Quote:
I appreciate you taking the time to post. Chris
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| lonegael
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#19
Nov 02, 2009, 02:47 PM
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It's funny how much we end up burdening others by trying "not to burden them". Good to hear that you got that straightenend out, Briester
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