[Samantha10101]

I am 25 and have two kids a 21 month old and a 10 month old. After my second child it was like it just went crazy and could not deal with anything much less a new baby. I would call my husband every day when he got off work crying hysterically begging him to get home faster. When he did get home I would bury myself in my room all I wanted to do was run away. Now I have been diagnosed with major depression and I am on med. and that helps however the week before and the week during my period I get really depressed and sometimes miss work. What does that say about the kind of person I am does that make me a bad employee? Is it reasonable for me to miss work. I only ask because I am having a hard time dealing with my lake of being the best that I can be. I was always the person who never missed work in school I made A B and C so I was never on the all A honor roll or the A, B honor roll, but I always took pride in the attendance award. It probably seems silly to most people but it was an award that I always got and it made me feel special. Now with all the work that I miss I feel like I a lazy no good person who just needs to get over herself and just go to work because there is nothing physically wrong with you. I need to know if missing work is ok and if it is ok why is it ok. because i feel like I am letting people down.

[Samantha10101]

I just called into work again. I have bills and stuff so its not like this does not affect me. I am going to call the doctor today, but it seems that every time that I try to talk to him I feel like I am bothering him. I don't want to be a burden.

[Briester]

You're not being a burden to anyone Samantha. It sounds to me like it could be a couple of things. Firstly since it seemed to start after your second baby it could be a symptom of Postpartum depression which does affect a large number of women after they have a baby. Also since it happens before and during your period talk to your doc about Premenstrual dysphoric disorder(or look it up here and online).

The other thing is it seems like you pushed yourself for a long time to always do the right thing, make super high grades, perfect attendance (not silly at all by the way) and after a while that stress can take it's toll on a person. Also having 2 kids really takes a toll physically and mentally. I have 1 9.5 month old son and sometimes its REALLY difficult to give him enough much less have anything left over to take care of myself. My poor wife has it even worse since she stays home with him and has to deal with it all day long. I can only try to take some of that burden off in the evening.

Above it all NEVER feel like what you're going through is ANY less than what someone with a physical illness has! That's our societal conditioning talking AND the depression itself which makes you feel low and down on yourself. It's simply an illness that affect MANY of us here and there are ways of treating it dear.

Call your doc and don't worry about it. It's their job to treat people and if he doesn't respond in a kind gently caring way then find another doc or Pdoc.

The point is you realize something is wrong and are trying to take steps to correct it. In my book that's brave and courageous thing to do.

Please let us know what the doc says and how you're doing. By the way...Welcome to PC. You're never alone and you're not bad or lazy or any of the other things the illness would have you believe.

Chris

[polarsmom]

I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. Please do not feel that you are a burden to your doctor!! It's his job to help you. And right now you need some help. Don't hesitate to ask for it. You might need additional medication for PMDD. It's not uncommon for women to have a difficult time with that. And even more so when you are already stressed and struggling with depression. Ask for something to help you during that time. Explain to the doctor all you are going through during that time. That it makes it nearly impossible to work. There is no doubt in my mind that he'll help you.

What medication are you taking now? Does it help the rest of the time? Are your symptoms milder? Or do you feel that it's not helping at all?

[Samantha10101]

Right now the Doctor has me on citalopram 60 mg and alprozolam er for the week before I start my period. The citalopram works most of the time except for the week before and during my period, and the alprozolam er does not seem to help at all.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Samantha10101! You've already received some great input.

• Major Depression is a serious illness.
• It's going to impose itself on your daily living, sometimes more, sometimes less.
• Treating/managing your illness is important. Taking care of others in your life requires you take care of yourself as best you can.
• Thinking bad things about yourself and being disappointed in yourself are themselves signs of the illness.
• It's not yourself you need to get over, it's the illness and/or its effects.
• Too many people in your world won't understand what's up with you, including perhaps your employers - although some employers are well-informed about depression and accommodate those afflicted with it.

We're here to listen to all you have to say about what you're experiencing.