[inchiki]

Hello all. That subject is my problem in a nutshell.
My girlfriend of 5 years now seems to be dealing with some form of depression. In my attempts to find out what I can do to help her, she suggests what would help her most when she's got the blues, is distracting, fun communication to take her mind off of her thoughts. Unfortunately, extroverted verbal communication has never been much of a forte of mine, and I've basically spent my entire life letting others initiate communication for the most part. Not the ideal pair I know, but I really care for her, and I'm trying to do what I can to pull myself out of this passive mode. It isn't easy. I try to be there for her when she's depressed, but quite often the conversation just stops cold, and this doesn't seem to be helping her either. I know we must seek counseling. I'm sure of this. Frankly I don't know if there's any possible advice for me with this little information and such a broad question, but I'd hoped that perhaps someone might have something to suggest. Anything really.
Thanks all.

Hi Inch..........welcome

Has your girlfriend gone to see a therapist yet? How long has she suffered from depression? It's very hard to change yourself, your personality for someone else. I admire your efforts for her - you really care alot.

Talk to her about seeing a therapist, and continue to be there for here. Knowing she isn't alone is sometimes the best medicine there is - knowing she has you to talk to.

Mary Alice

[LMo]

Hi Inchiki:
Welcome to the forum. You have an unusual situation there - my boyfriend is the depressed one in the pair, and he is also the introvert (I am not depressed and am an extrovert). I can't imagine how it would work the other way around. Is it the blues or has she been diagnosed with depression? You also might try another forum for significant others of depressed people: http://pub131.ezboard.com/fdepressio...ressionfallout

You'll see me on there as well. I don't have much to suggest, but I do wish you luck and am definitely willing to listen, if that helps.

L. Mo

[inchiki]

Thanks for the link referall! (I wasn't aware of this one) There hasn't been any formal diagnosis, but she and I both suspect that its the real deal. I guess the "solution" is getting help, but just not making things worse on her down swings is the problem in front of me now. Anyway thank you again!

[inchiki]

>Mary Alice
No therapy yet, and I'm not sure how long she's been suffering "depression" per se, some "symptoms" mood swings, bad dreams, low self-esteem, lethargy (correct me if I'm wrong on these) are things she's been dealing with in one form or another for several years at least.
Thanks for your thoughts.

My pleasure Inch...........she's lucky to have your support. Yep, those are all signs of depression. If she sees a doc or a therapist, maybe he can prescribe something to help her, before it gets worse.

Mary Alice

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome inchiki,

Your girlfriend is lucky to have such a caring and involved partner! Thinking about your situation a bit more, it isn't that unlike that of mine and my SO, so I will give you a couple of thoughts. I apologize in advance if they seem a bit silly

I am the depressed partner, and my SO tends to be quiet, so he isn't always able to distract me - but we have developed our own "silly/fun" stuff to talk about, and we sometimes play games like trivial pursuit which can be good for distraction. Another possible idea is to look at books on depression together (we haven't done that because he has a very stressful job and wants to relax in the time off that he gets) ... The most important thing is to be there for your girlfriend, and it seems that you are doing just that!

Take care,
Fuzzy