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#1
Nov 18, 2009, 06:41 PM
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Today, my mother told me that the cancer marker in my father's last test was in the normal range. My father will be having further bloodwork and a new CAT scan to try determine what is going on. Rather it is possible it is not cancer. I am pleased about this, but I am back to the waiting mode to find out for sure. We will probably not find out for sure for a few weeks. I am getting anxious again. What makes it harder is that I am not sure if what my mother is saying is really true. She tends to deny that anything is wrong. I just saw my father and he is looking frail and has lost weight. I am afraid of getting my hopes up to have them dashed again.
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Lea 
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 lynn09
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#2
Nov 18, 2009, 06:55 PM
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Gosh, Lea, that's a hard one. Your mother may not be honest with you. How do you survive the next few weeks before you find out. Well, you could ask your father's permission to be privy to all communications with the doctor so you will know exactly what is going on but do you want to know exactly what is going on? Anxiety seems to prevail both ways. Do you believe in a higher power that you can turn this over to? Can you have the faith that everything is going to be alright? I am thinking about you and sending good thoughts.
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Phoenix47 |
| leacon, lynn09
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#3
Nov 18, 2009, 07:10 PM
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My mother is not really telling lies. She deceives herself first and then tells me what she thinks is going on. Once I know about the next tests; I will contact my sister the oncologist to be sure.
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Lea
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| lynn09
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#4
Nov 18, 2009, 07:36 PM
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I hope your sister can clear things up for you. Waiting's the hardest, I wish I could make that easier for you
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 Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. |
| leacon, lynn09
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#5
Nov 19, 2009, 10:20 PM
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((((((leacon)))))))
Thinking of you and hoping for the best 
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| leacon, lynn09
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#6
Nov 20, 2009, 04:20 AM
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 So sorry you're still having to deal with such uncertainty (((leacon))) - you've been having a rough go of it for a while. As for dealing with your anxiety while waiting for clarification, you know that old saying, "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst;" it may seem a bit trite and simplistic, but there is something to be said for finding balance between the two extremes with a more realistic perspective. Even if it turns out not to be cancer, your father is obviously very ill - here's hoping they find the right answers soon so he can receive appropriate treatment.
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!" (Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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| leacon
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#7
Nov 20, 2009, 07:16 AM
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(((leacon)))) These are really hard time for all of you. Sendning best wishes, kind thoughts and hopes for healing. Lynn has good advice. I offer just my HUGGGGS just now. Be good to yourself, too.
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| leacon, lynn09
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