[googley]

I feel awful. But I don't feel the normal awful. The normal awful is not being able to sleep and my mind racing and feeling like crap. And looking at it I guess it isn't that different. Instead my mind can't move and I feel numb and I feel like moving take so much energy. Just too much energy. At least with the other one I could get my brain pointed in a general direction and try to get something done. Now I just don't care. And it's not like my brain could do anything even if it tried. I don't like this new thing. Not that I liked the old thing, but at least I was used to it and knew how to get through it. I don't even feel like I can put one foot in front of the other right now. If I wasn't on auto pilot I wouldn't make it. Staying in bed would be so much easier. And my stomach feels sick and I have no idea when that is going to get better. And I hate food. all food. it sucks. I just want someone safe to hold me and tell me that it is going to be better and that they care about me and that I matter.

[greyday]

I am new to this site but want to tell you I care about you and that you do matter. I read your posts all the time and you have a lot to offer to others. Seems like right now you are going through a rough patch. But it probably feels like more than that, like its never going to end. But it will end, you just have to wait it out.

You owe it to yourself to stay in bed and give yourself some TLC. You deserve it after all.

You are going to make it through. Hugs your way.

[Sabrina]

(((googley)))

[mum2four]

Originally Posted by googley

Not that I liked the old thing, but at least I was used to it and knew how to get through it. .

I can relate to this feeling when I first when on medication it was like it turned my thinking off. I had to teach my self how to think again but this time try to let it get obsessive. I often feel like I'm truning in to some one I just dont know if I can deal with or cope with. I dont want to become someone I dont know. I dont know if it's the OCD making me feel this way or just anxiety or if I really should be worried but I feel like becoming "normal" will make me a drone. I watch people go about there day some time and I feel a sence of danger in become just another face in the crowd another ant trying to follow the sent of the ant before him. It seem pointless and mindless to just constantly try to copy or better other people, or to bye items that make companies rich which most often owned by on person who will never need that much money eva.

[Naturefreak]

Googley
Have you been to the doctor's lately for a physical?
It may be something physical that is contributing to your feeling so awful. I don't know my friend . Just a suggestion.
You certainly do matter.

[alittlehoshime]

(((((Googley))))
Just to let u know that ur not alone as Im goin thru em now im kinda hyper at nite but lowed keyed in the morning . Guess Just need to wait for the dark clouds to pass by sweetie hang in there !

[lindee]

[lonegael]

Hugs babe. I wish I could wave a wand and make it better, but anyway I can say that I hope you feel better soon and I'm sorry it's so hard right now. Be gentle with yourself.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((( googley ))))))))))))))))))

I am sending you lots of hugs, I am sorry things are rough right now. Being on autopilot can be so rough sometimes, I know I have been there. Try treating yourself kindly and know that you definitely matter and are cared for.

[shezbut]

(((googley)))

I don't like those crappy days either. Thankfully, those days do pass. Simply allowing yourself to feel like crap isn't much fun though, I know . Hope that you feel better very soon!

Shez

[stickman]

hang in there, I just passed through that phase, and it will pass for you.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( googley ))))))))))))))))

[googley]

All my dishes (well almost all of them-except for a few plates) are sitting in my sink unwashed. And they will continue to sit there until tomorrow atleast. (well later today now). I feel like a failure. The one house hold chore on my to do list and I couldn't even get it part way done.

[Naturefreak]

Originally Posted by googley

All my dishes (well almost all of them-except for a few plates) are sitting in my sink unwashed. And they will continue to sit there until tomorrow atleast. (well later today now). I feel like a failure. The one house hold chore on my to do list and I couldn't even get it part way done.

It's OK Googley , at least you're planning to do them.
I hope your feeling better soon.

[Berries]

(((((((Googely))))))))

You DO matter. I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it. How long has this been going on?
Are you on meds or seeing a T?
I think you should give your pdoc a call and let him/her know. She/he may need to tweak your meds for you.
Wishing you strength

[lonegael]

(((((Googley)))))) In the big frame of things, what do a few dishes mean? The point isn't how much you do, but that you do some. It doesn't all have to be done today or tomorrow. One or two at a time, even. take it easy. If you bite off too much you'll just feel worse about yourself. It matters just that you are doing what you can! Hugs. Don't give up on yourself.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by lonegael

In the big frame of things, what do a few dishes mean?

Lonegael makes an excellent point. 'If you're going to fret over something, fret over something of consequence.' Now, if I could only live that...

((((((( Googley! ))))))) How are you doing today?

[googley]

Hi Everyone thanks for your support.

I am feeling somewhat the same today. But less numb and more tired. I know that I need to call the health center to get an appointment with my Pdoc. I washed dishes and that was good because it makes it easier to eat. I go to T tomorrow, so hopefully she will have some good ideas. This tends to be the time of year when things get worse. But not exactly this way. I couldn't keep things straight when I was working on my math today, but finally got it done.
Thank you all again for your support. It means a lot to me. I hope you are all doing well. I'm sorry that I can't comment on everyone else's threads right now, but will get back to it as soon as my energy rebounds.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((googley being held and told its gonna be ok))))))))

[lonegael]

How is it today, Googley? Hugs for your morning.

[googley]

Originally Posted by lonegael

How is it today, Googley? Hugs for your morning.

I slept today. Pretty much all day. I'll take your hugs for this evening. I was supposed to call pdoc today (was planing to yesterday but didn't) but it will have to wait until Monday. Thank you all for checking up on me. I went to T yesterday and it left me feeling all mixed and torn up inside. Not the plan but it happened. I think the sleep today was in response to the emotional exhaustion from that. Thank you all for the support.