This frog of little brain doesn't understand

I had a few short weeks that seemed even shorter to leave my problems behind and visit with family members. For the most part the days were filled with laughter and good times. Those who didn’t join in were ribbed unmercifully until the “grumpies”(my 19&18 year old grandsons) were forced into frolicking too.

Half way through my visit I was kicked in the gut. My medical insurance was being changed. I’m no longer able to see my pdoc , therapist, my pain management team or even my primary care physician. None of them take the new insurance. So now along with everything else I have to go doctor shopping.

My daughter-in-law and I decided to ease the impact of my medical problems by going shopping. We visited clothing stores, quilting shops, craft stores, Wegman’s grocery and the bookstore. My d-i-l is one of those amazing people who can find a bargain with her eyes closed. We came home with tons of bags full of bargains. My wallet took a beating and my budget went out the window, we had a ball. Of course that could also have been in part due to the large lattes and flavored coffees we consumed throughout the day.

With enough Valium and vertigo meds in me I arrived “home” on Veterans Day evening. I thanked the pilots for not hitting any pot holes on the way from DC and met my ride home.

When I walked through the door a cloak of oppression enveloped me. Nothing had changed; nothing was done while I was gone. I was right back in the dungeon. There are no bars on the windows or doors that you can see but this house is still a prison with no escape possible.

As always it is my fault. I should have given him tasks to do while I was gone. Yes my fault, I knew nothing would happen while I wasn’t there. He didn’t say as much but I think he spent most of his time with his girl friend.

You would think that when the dust bunnies started playing soccer in the middle of the living room floor, the thought of using a vacuum would have come to mind. Well maybe I should rephrase that “anybody but D” would have cleaned the floor. I guess it has always been my fault.

We did drive to the heart specialist in Miami the day after I arrived home. The cardiologist gave D a clean bill of health so we are one step closer to getting on the kidney transplant list. He is on home dialysis at the moment and is doing well. Every night he hooks himself up to the machine that runs most of the night. He is also able to still work which for our finances is a good thing.

I guess the problem is that I’m just a frog of little brain. But that’s OK, it really isn’t important. And I have no right to think or expect that the person who can play golf twice a week and bowl every Saturday night (when I can hardly move without pain) could help just a little. There is so much that needs to be done that it is overwhelming but there is only this frog of little brain here to do it.

This frog of little brain is out of psych meds, morphine & codeine for the pain. This could be an interesting couple of weeks. I should just stop crying and complaining and start writing my “to do” list.

Sorry this post was so long. I just couldn't find the scissors to cut it.


kebs

Oh Kebs,

I feel the weight of your heart! Not only the heavy one,
but the light one too, while in D.C. Good family visits can be so wonderful.

I hope you get your medication and M.D's worked out soon. Insurance these days, definitely a kick in the gut. I will keep you in my thoughts.

*feeling guilty for repeatedly smiling reading a post full of troubles*

Dear Kebsfroggy, I'm so glad your visit itself was enjoyable; I'm saddened (and maybe a little frightened) to read of your insurance earthquake. I'm also sorry you're blaming yourself for the...state...of your home when you returned.

Now I'm curious what D considers "clean." I wonder if this is an intergenerational issue, an intercultural issue, both or neither?

Kebs The frog of little brain .
I would certainly miss you dear froggy .
You bring light to my darkness .
I wish I could take all of your pain away . Remember that.

((((((KebbsFroggy)))))))

Sounds like an absolute mess. Is there now way your previous doctor could prescribe you at least the existing meds you're on without charging you extra because your insurance changed?

I was looking over a few of your posts, and I don't know much about D. But I really wish he would take some responsibility for the place. It's NOT fair, and I'm sorry you have to live with that.

*sits with you*

Aggreed on all above. Sounds like family conference time. Glad you had a blast in DC. You deserved it. Huggs.

Too bad, really too bad
But what does it mean your new insurance don't pay for your docs, what do they insure?!?

Insurance is enough to get the best of em down! A few suggestions that may help with the meds.......first, if there is a costco in your area they have the lowest prices on meds. Second, any meds that you can't get the genereic for....ask for samples from your doc and investigate the programs from the pharmaceutical companies for assistance. Last, talk with your docs about changing anything that can be changed to a cheaper alternative. Good luck and been there!