[vsh306]

Not sure where to start, just joined today and I am seeing a therapist (50 mins 1-2x per week, just not enough). I am just in all around trouble...meaning I have had real pain some days/most days, back and neck now for several months and emotional pain and somehow they are connected. I call it the pain funk. The physical pain seems to come first and my mind CANNOT or WILL NOT think of anything else and within hour(s) will be in complete catastrophic state...all is bad, everything is wrong, yadayadayada. I am down to planning 1 thing per day and that's if the start time is flexible...I cannot bear the stress of 2-3 things in a day and as a CEO (small company but for history purposes) could do talk to a minimum of 60-80 people per day (really, daily for 25 years). Now I'm fortunate to want to speak to anyone and if I do, I've carefully orchestrated responses that will keep them at bay, frequently intoned single word responses. Beyond that the only thing that makes me happy is cleaning my house (never done that in my adult life) or doing very menial tasks. They actually make me happy. Briefly. Feel like cannot even hold my head up most of the day but when I lay down, sleep never comes. I can go 2-3 days without sleep easily, especially if I have obligations that have to be met.

What gives? My real question is has anyone else felt like there's this pain funk thing and although I know the onset of the severity of whats happening (it's been coming on for about 5 years, panic attacks, hiding out from responsibility, covering up, etc.) how the hell did no one notice??????

[BeautifullyMistaken]

Originally Posted by vsh306

Not sure where to start, just joined today and I am seeing a therapist (50 mins 1-2x per week, just not enough). I am just in all around trouble...meaning I have had real pain some days/most days, back and neck now for several months and emotional pain and somehow they are connected. I call it the pain funk. The physical pain seems to come first and my mind CANNOT or WILL NOT think of anything else and within hour(s) will be in complete catastrophic state...all is bad, everything is wrong, yadayadayada. I am down to planning 1 thing per day and that's if the start time is flexible...I cannot bear the stress of 2-3 things in a day and as a CEO (small company but for history purposes) could do talk to a minimum of 60-80 people per day (really, daily for 25 years). Now I'm fortunate to want to speak to anyone and if I do, I've carefully orchestrated responses that will keep them at bay, frequently intoned single word responses. Beyond that the only thing that makes me happy is cleaning my house (never done that in my adult life) or doing very menial tasks. They actually make me happy. Briefly. Feel like cannot even hold my head up most of the day but when I lay down, sleep never comes. I can go 2-3 days without sleep easily, especially if I have obligations that have to be met.

What gives? My real question is has anyone else felt like there's this pain funk thing and although I know the onset of the severity of whats happening (it's been coming on for about 5 years, panic attacks, hiding out from responsibility, covering up, etc.) how the hell did no one notice??????

I'm sorry to hear about that. I have frequent pain as well all the time. I have been getting horrible headaches and my back/neck have been killing me. I get panic attacks a lot as well...They're deff. not any fun. I hate the feeling of not being able to breath. Odd you mention you find cleaning fun...as I find it very amusing as well. I could clean all day everyday and be completely content.

It's hard when people don't notice that you aren't 'feeling very well'. It's very unfortunate because someone should notice and they should ASK you what is wrong and try to help you. For me: It's weird, I don't want to tell anyone about how I am feeling but yet it hurts that no one noticed and considered asking how I feel. Did your T give you medication as well? Have you told them that 50 minutes twice a week isn't enough and that you would like more time?

[Naturefreak]

Vsh306
Welcome to PC . Sorry to hear about your pain . Take care

[phoenix47baby]

Others noticing may not be so easy if you have had this coming on for five years. Things probably seem the same to others. But to change the focus to you, have you thought about seeing the doctor and getting a full physical? The thyroid gland can wreak havoc if unchecked among other systems in the body. Also have you condidered a trip to a therapist to discuss what is going on? Big shift from CEO to cleaning the house. I wish you well and know that you can get to the bottom of this-------

[lonegael]

(((((Vsh))))) Sorry to here about the pain. Often people don't notice because you can't see pain, just the signals that people send that they are in pain. it's also easy to miss the pain if it is a competent person who lots of people depend on. The idea that such a person may not be able to keep up putting up for people is just too inconvenient to accept. So if you don't say, then they won't notice.
Have you heard of ACT? It is a branch of CBT that is very helpfull with chronic pain and the thought patterns that tend to go along with it. there is a workbook that is put out with it. IF you have a T, you might want to ask himor her what they know about it.
I'm really sorry that you are going through this. It's hard to be taken seriously and H#¤% to go through. Wish you the best. Gentle hugs.