[embracinglife]

Feeling unloveable. Must mean that my need for love, closeness, connection with others, is not being met.

What should I do about it? I guess the point of this exercise that my therapist gave to me is just to recognize my feelings, to stay connected to my feelings, acknowledge them, understand better why they are there, etc.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by graciemi

Feeling unloveable. ... What should I do about it?

The following is pure amateurish speculation...

Step 1: Identify a feeling, name it, isolate at as a feeling separate from your Self. Apparently you've done that.

Step 2: Examine the feeling, question it, refine it, see if it isn't several feelings bound together - tease them apart if you can.

Step 3: Challenge the feeling: Are you (the feeling) true? Why am I feeling you? Did you sneak up on me or jump up unexpectedly? Did you come from inside or outside me? Did I catch you from someone else? Are you telling me something important or are you lying to me? (OK, so Steps 2 & 3 aren't all that different.)

Step 4: Ask yourself if you can do anything about the feeling. In my personal experience, working directly on a feeling is almost never effective; my unwanted feelings become less bothersome when I focus elsewhere and outward - and being scatterbrained helps a lot.

Well, Graciemi, I seriously doubt you're unlovable, but it's important to accept the reality of your feeling that way and do what you can to deal with the feeling. Wish you success and growth!

[Naturefreak]

(((graciemi)))