[lifeinearth]

Hi, I'm new to this forum, so please be gentle.
I'm depressed. I know this is not new to you, but for me, this brings a lot of trouble. I was diagnosed with depression 3 years ago. I went to a psychiatrist and prescribed me with Effexor. It has been a tough time for me with this med. I am concerned about its effectiveness. Since I stay a couple of months without taking them. (Because the doctor told me so). And everytime, I start over again taking them.
I just started university. I signed up for a medical career. And since the beginning, my perfomance and grades have fallen so much I may start my first semester over again. For me, this is a complete failure. I don't want to bore you with all the thoughts that come to my mind for not being able to concentrate or study hard enough. And well, I feel more hopeless everyday.
What should I do? Quit my meds? Take a break? I just don't know...

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((lifeinearth))))

Thank you for posting and welcome to PC. Gentle is what PC is about. Support, encouragement, and listening. I can understand the feelings of needing to study hard enough. I think sometimes we are hardest on ourself. We expect ourselves to do what we would not expect out of someone else.

I know when I take classes (which I am sitting out of right now as I have been ill), I expect nothing but doing everything perfect. Even when I only missed two points out if the possible points I was so disappointed in myself that I was depressed about that.

We sometimes set ourselves up to fail as our expectations of ourself are so high we cannot breathe. I know for me this came from what was always expected from me when I was growing up. And it is something that I could not achieve back then but I struggled then too trying. But even perfection never changed anything.

I do hear you and I validate your feelings. I am sorry you are feeling this way. How come the doctor keeps taking you off your meds? Are you seeing a t? Have you talked to anyone about how you are feeling?

Depression is not a kind soul. It hits just anyone and it hold no care for who it hits or when. It can grab you when you least expect and pull you down before you realize it has you. But each day you make it is another day it does not win.

Remember to breathe. Take one day at a time even a minute or second at a time if you have to. Everyday you reach out here you are showing it that you refuse to allow it to keep you. So many times we shut down and do not reach out, but you have. And I hope you will continue to reach out here.

We do care and we are here for you. We will walk with you through this until you are strong enough to stand. I am glad you joined PC and I hope you will find a home here and mke friends here. Please take care of you. You are important and you matter.

Please take care of you and keep posting to let us know how you are doing. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps

[trevorzero]

Because I was so depressed, I dropped out of college twice and attempted suicide once. Even though I eventually graduated, I put so little effort into my schoolwork that my academic career was quite mediocre.

So maybe you should think about putting off school until your enthusiasm for it will make it a worthwhile experience.