[starrina]

It is kind of sad these words from a song

"Sometimes Loves Just Not Enough"

and yet how true they are.

[thine_self_untrue]

((((((starrina)))))))

[Lostforevermore]

Don't let yourself believe that...

[starrina]

Originally Posted by Lostforevermore

Don't let yourself believe that...

Sadly its to late I do believe them to be true
I love my daughter very much yet she hates me
with a passion it is not an age thing it is simply
the way it is,I can accept it as it is and try to
begin something else or I can continue the fight
I sadly have not got the energy to keep fighting
I will always love her but there will always be a
hole where our love should have been.

Continue to love and forgive yourself. You are doing what you can.

[Hopeless_2010]

Don't ever give up. Give her time and space. Let her know that you are there and always will be. Don't let go

[starrina]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Continue to love and forgive yourself. You are doing what you can.

How do I do this when all I feel is pain
I cry because I fear her I cry because
I fear for her I cry because we hurt each other
I cry because its all I know to do these days
right now I am gllad I cannot do anything
right I guess I can live in hope that one
she will turn around and realise that what
I did I did out of love however as things
stand I highlt doubt that will happen.

[Hopeless_2010]

A mother/daughter bond is something that lasts forever. I know I have had blow-outs with my mom but in time I see that she was right (even though I never liked to admit it). I don't know what happened between the two of you but just keep letting her know that you are there and always will be whether she is mad at your or not.

I know what you mean about crying. Thank God the meds have stopped that !!!!

[Rohag]

TheByzantine: "...love and forgive yourself."
Starrina: "How do I do this when all I feel is pain[?]"

Outstanding advice; outstanding reply.

Originally Posted by Starrina

right now I am glad I cannot do anything

Hmmm... Maybe that's the positive role of the pain at present. Insofar as the pain prevents you from doing "anything," it compels you to do what may be best right now - not doing anything.

That's just speculation.

I hope time will prove your fears wrong. I hope calm will soon overcome your turmoil.

[lynn P.]

The mother and daughter bond is unique and special. It's sounds like you're really hurting right now and this is blocking positive emotions. When we feel rejected, it natural to lash out and feel bad. The bond is strong and regardless of what happens, it needs to remain intact. As our daughters mature, sometimes as mothers we struggle with the shift that happens - meaning our daughters need to be more independent and we need to back away slightly. Problems happen when the daughter strives for independance, is met with resistance from the mother. I'm starting to feel the 'tug of war' myself now that my oldest is 12.

I highly recommend getting a good book on mother/daughter relationships and how to keep the bond while going through those stages. Sometimes daughters need to rebel in order to assert themselves and this is difficult. Please don't think in absolute ways - like she hates you and it will never change. Take some slow deep breaths and try to show patience and tolerance even though you don't feel like it. I bet she will come around in the end. Don't beat yourself up over this ((Starina)) - being a parent is the most difficult job in the world. Hang in there - okay?