What's the point?

I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 15, and have been on medications and in-and-out of countless therapy sessions. Still, the meds and therapy only do so much. To know more about my situation, I should tell you what I've been going for the last two years.

It's my grandparents. They live about an hour north or Atlanta, GA, and their house is in a community in the middle of nowhere. They're constantly going through my things (I locked my bedroom door and they busted the door down), criticizing me over my weight, and just being overall unpleasant. They even hit me several times. I started smoking cigarettes again when I moved down to Atlanta with them, and they caught me smoking outside my school back in November 2009 and kicked me out. By then, I had already made a friend who was more than happy to take me in. Sadly, after two weeks his apartment complex caught on and was threatened to have his lease terminated unless I left. He wanted me to stay, but I just thanked him for taking me in and packed my stuff.

My grandparents finally gave in and allowed me to go back home. They told me that I could stay with them until June 2010 and then I needed to be out. In the meantime, they will have access to my room whenever they please (I know it's THEIR room, that I'm just using it), I will have to ask their permission to spend time with friends, and I will never smoke again. I would understand if I was a kid, but I'm 24 years old. I have a driver's license, but no car. The stores nearby are taking applications, but I know that the chances of them hiring me are slim. So, I'm stuck. My friend wants to stay with him, but it's not worth him losing his apartment. My mother and great-grandmother are the only two who side with me, but they're both in Kansas City, so they can't do much for me.

With that said, I feel angry, betrayed, helpless, and just right-down crappy. Aside from my visit to Kansas City, it's been almost two years since I've gotten a hug or had someone tell me that "they loved me". I'm on medication right now, but it's not working. Meds just dull the pain, but the problems remain. I don't have a job yet and I've only got five more months until I'm out. It doesn't help that I'm bipolar either. It just makes me feel more off-balance. I've reached a point now where I'm saying, "Why bother?"

Welcome to PC Jay. Your grandparents sound like they can't be of much help to you. Can you go live with your mother or great grandmother in Kansas? If they give you the support you need, that's where I would be.

Are you getting all the help you can for your mental health problems? Medications, therapy, support groups, self help books, etc. Seek out all the help you can and use it. If your current meds don't seem to be working, tell your pdoc. Keep trying until you get meds that work for you. Sometimes that can take a long time. Having supportive people around you is very important. You are too young to give up on yourself yet. Just because you have mental health problems does not mean you can't have a life that is worth living.

Hello & Welcome, Jay242010! Thank you for offering your background.
How true!

It's hard for me to reply in any other way than what Pomegranate so well stated. Your current location and circumstances magnify whatever "natural" problems being bipolar brings.

Moving to a large metropolitan area (where services can be found more easily) to be near people who care for you would be an improvement.

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Are your grandparents aware that you have been diagnosed with bipolar. Maybe if they knew more about the condition they might not be so hard on you.

Welcome Jay. I'm sorry I don't have any magical words to say. Just wanted to let you know that we are here for you.