[Hopeless_2010]

Does anyone else here have horrible spending habbits that have hurt your family and your life? I would love to talk to those people....especially if you have found things to help. My therapist can't seem to understand that THIS is what I am BEGGING him for help for.

Just wondering.

Have you asked your therapist to help you with a budget? There are organizations that will help with budgeting. Some will take a deposit in trust and make payments directly to creditors.

[paddym22]

Yes Hopeless

I am terrible with money and wreckless, so much so that my partner now controls all my weekly cash and my family manage my fund. If I got my hands on it would spend it all without thinking of the consequences. Dont know the reason for it, havent been able to figure it out. I come from a long line of bankers who are all probably turning in their graves with shame at me and my habit. I am also Bi Polar and it is said that it is a symptom of the illness, well thats my excuse anyway that I am sticking to..........

[Hopeless_2010]

TheByzantine ~ My therapist doesn't seem to care after telling him time and time again this is my first concern. He tells me that he knows what is wrong with me but he won't tell me, I have to figure it out for myself. (This jerk is a real winner). And as for making a budget...its not that easy . I have told my husband to take control of the money...to tell me NO I can't have any...I have asked him to do the shopping. I am not one that sits there all week going, "hmmm I want this, and that, and this on Friday" I am all impulse. I go into a store...I come out with the rent spent. He is just enabling me and I have BEGGED him to take the rope. He needs a therapist to learn to STAND UP TO ME .

Paddy ~ That is what I need. I am willing to surrender our money to anyone that will help (trustworthy of course). They have been questioning whether I am bi-polar. I had a GP tell me she thought I was years ago and put me on a med for bi-polar to see how I reacted and I got so BAD/depressed ect. and she took me off and said I wasn't I hate money. It is EVIL .

Thank you both so much.

[Yoda]

Rather than write it all out again read my obsessive shopping post pics here

Compulsive spending was the problem that brought me to PC.

[Mike_J]

I have an issue with too much online shopping at times. My office is full of toys, could be I'm trying to make up for my childhood. It has caused some minor issues with my wife. What really struck me about your post is how much you seem to dislike your therapist, and what a jerk he seems to be. It might be time to find a therapist that you like, and more importantly one that you trust.

[AAAAA]

I would seek a different medical professional. When my Dr. dx me, he first explained that the most common ways for mania to manifest itself were dangerous sexual activity, compulsive spending, and a few others I forget. I clean and do household remodeling when I'm manic.

Just because one medication did not work for you does not mean that you're not bipolar.

My husband is absolutely horrible with money. BUT he does not like the way I manage it either. I would rather pay extra on a credit card than buy some silly thing we really don't need today.

[lynn P.]

My husband has spending problems sometimes -his closet looks like the mens department with the same shirt in every color. He has calmed down recently because of the recession - we just don't have the money. But I worry when things get better he'll fall into the same pattern.

When my brother who had manic depression was alive - he also would spend alot when he was manic - he once bought a fur jacket and a model T old fashioned car, all in 1 day.

I'm very reasonable with money. I recommend a strict budget and only pay for things with cash. It too easy using credit cards or debit. Keep a notepad in your possession and record every thing you buy. When shopping. ask yourself - "do I need this to live"? The answer will probably be no. I'm sure spending makes you feel good - but for me I love saving and getting good deals.

[lonegael]

I periodically have spending problems, thankfully they go over quickly, but I m also bipolar, and yes, they happen in hypomanic/mixed episodes. i hae a firends who spend more in an addictive fashion. Have you checked the board here for addictions? they might have some good advice. Huggs, good luck!

[Hopeless_2010]

I know that the things I buy are nothing I NEED. There just all impulse. Running to Wally World for one thing leads to 50.00 or more later. All that we NEED is to pay our bills on time and occasionally the kids will need a new pair of shoes or a new box of crayons. I have NO NEEDS what so ever. So every dime I spend is just useless.

My p-doc told me Thursday that once we find the right meds that things will get better. Fingers crossed. Although I was super proud of myself Friday. I was filling out my son's book order for school. He wanted two books that totaled 13.00. So I am filling it out thinking to myself oh he would love this one and this one would be great and we need some new books. Well, my total came to 78.00 .....BUT....I told myself "what the heck are you doing?". Went through and erased all but the two my son wanted and sent it in I was so happy and so PROUD of myself. Baby steps right?

Thanks for all your support, stories, and advice

Good for you! (((((((( Hopeless ))))))))) I agree that if your therapist will not help you with the issues you want to deal with it may be time to find a different therapist.

[amante]

I would say run don't walk to the next T that can be more compassionate and dx you (isn't that what you are paying them for) and give you the treatment you need. I racked up $50k on credit cards with frivolous spending, with nothing to really show for it, certainly no rolex on my wrist. In the end we had to file bankruptcy and financially we are now ruined. Depression and stuff can really mess with you financially. Can you take the spending to a lower level like Family Dollar stores or something that can give you a spending fix but isn't putting you in a hole. It's a vicious cycle when you are depressed. I was out of control eating out and spending every day, anything to get me out of the house from the walls closing in. Perhaps you can log your spending habits down on paper and connect the two if it's linked to mood, etc.. Good luck.... I hope you do find that new T and soon.

[Hopeless_2010]

Thanks Amanda I am going to try the log thing. I, too, over eat. Just purely out of sheer bordom. But that racks up the bills too ! I am sorry your situation got so bad. I hope your doing better now

[amante]

Hopeless,

A good idea is for you to spend some time posting on these forums gaining the support from people in similar situations that you can lean on, it's amazing how connected you can feel and how posting can lead to a couple of hours spent on the computer, and less time shopping, when your shopping is at it's worst. just a thought. If you log the times you spend, perhaps you'll see a solid pattern and can hop on the computer and post to the forums then. I hope you can find a new T in a quick timeframe, I know that's not always easy but good luck.