Depressed and Lonely

I'm so looking forward to Sping! This winter has just arrived and already it seems like it's been winter for months! We've had really cold temps, tons of snow, and just got through with an ice storm! I could should use some sunshine about right now!
Heck, even if it was spring or summer, I still woudn't be going outside for more than 5 minutes at a time. I suffer from not only manic depression, but also from Agoraphobia - a fear of leaving my home. I can go out side with my husband and not be afaid, but I can't go out for more that 5 mintues with out having a really bad panic attack. I hope to extend my time outside to about 10 minutes this spring and summer. At least I'll give it a try...
Today I just feel depressed and so lonely... I wish I a friend that could come over and visit a while. I lost all my friends when I had to quit my job - I thought they were my friends... Since I've been ill I've only heard from one of them. And she only contacts me about once every couple of months... I guess they weren't friends after all, just aqaintences. It's hard for me to talk to people, let alone leave my home. I can go a few places with my husband - not a lot of places, just a few. I don't do well in crowds at all. I take Xanex before we go out for the evening which is to get grocerys, go out to eat (in a large open space), and go to Border's. My husband or son have to take me to my doctor appointments because I have sever panic attacks driving the 35 miles to the doctor's office. I become disoriented and feel lost - not a good thing to happen when your driving on the interstate! If I take my Xanex, I can't drive because I become too relaxed and sleepy. What a mess I am!! My poor family... I love them and am so thankful for their love and support!
I'm starting to feel a bit less depressed now... It's still cold, and there's still a ton of snow out on the lawn, but the ice is melting!! A good sign! And a good note to leave on.
Hugs!!!

Sorry you are so down. Winter is a harder time for me too.

Do you think you would benefit from professional help?

Good luck.

Sending a little warmth your way (though Maryland doesn't have much :-)

Spring will come. Then Summer. Then Fall. Then Winter. Your problems can be magnified by horrible winter weather but the summer sunshine may only serve as a mask for you to wear while your underlying problems continue to disturb you.

Try not to focus on the ups and downs of the climate very much because the seasons will always come and go.