[Knitnut]

It has been a good while since I was a frequent poster here at PC / Depression.

I have been living in my head again, not necessarily a good thing, and wonder how others describe their depressive states...

It has been a while since I sank into my dark place, but I found myself there and now it has been four days. I feel like the line between being okay and being depressed is a very fine line for me. It takes so little to break that barrier. I suppose it is a message to me that I need a meds change (increase.)

I have two descriptions:

1. It is like a pond in the winter that has a very thin layer of ice (I live in the Northeastern USA.) Depression is like someone tapping on the ice and breaking through to the water. Then the water (depression) rises to the top and consumes the person. Like falling through the layer of ice into the numbing cold water.
2. A black pit...an all consuming pit that is so dark it feels as if one will never see the light of day again. It takes so much energy to grab hold of the rim of the pit, and sometimes hanging on my ones fingernails, until the strength is found to put oneself out.

Depression for me is like being in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. I am exhausted from swimming and anxious from not knowing the direction to take to the nearest land. At times I am so frustrated at the lack of progress I want to stop swimming. So far, I have found land; or someone has found me. Who knows?

[septum]

I agree in that it takes very little to thrust me into a seemingly endless state of depression. Despite how blessed I am, how much my boyfriend cares for me, or how well I seem to be doing in life... none of it matters. I feel like the most insignificant ingrate of a human being and wish so badly that I could give my life to someone more appreciative.

[Rohag]

Hi, BigCasper!

Originally Posted by septum

Despite how blessed I am, how much my boyfriend cares for me, or how well I seem to be doing in life... none of it matters.

Yes, depression doesn't care how we're doing objectively. Maybe people with other problems and traumas are at higher risk, but no one is completely safe.

[idontknow13]

((((((bigcasper))))))
welcome back, sad to know the reason, I hope you feel better soon.

[thine_self_untrue]

Mine floats between my entire reality and a cruel illusion. It seems so real, and then like nothing at all. It seems to control me, but I know I am vaguely in control. It is frustrating, frightening and drains the very life out of me until life seems to be no more.

[lindee]

(((bigcasper)))

How are you doing, bigcasper?

[Joshua79]

My depression is like looking down on earth and then zooming all the way out until it is a speck in the cosmos. And then I see that no matter what happens, in the scheme of the universe it holds no intrinsic value. Other times it feels like a violent storm that is coming my way and it is destroying everything in its path.

I do not remember how or why I was happy.