[SilasGabrael]

I've been depressed for a while now. I have good days and bad ones. The problem is with my family. I have a sister who I have recently been hearing has become depressed. The thing that is hurting me is hat I've been depressed for months and my parents don't pay me any mind yet my sister feels depressed ad suddenly we have to make sure to be nice and she can do bad things and its okay because she's sad. I've been hurting for months and when I would try to confront my mom and tell her, she would tell me to stop pretending to be depressed. She would say it isn't nice to pretend because some people really are depressed. For anyone else who's depressed, you can probably guess how that makes me feel. I really don't even know what to do in this situation. All my attempted conversations just end with my mom making me cry. helpful info or just an "it'll be okay" would be really nice right now.

[justfloating]

hi SilasGabrael, welcome to PC

Many of us here have and are currently struggling with depression. We know how difficult it can be. I know that when my depression is bad, the tiniest bit of negativity from anyone else towards me can send me spiralling into hopelessness, helplessness and waves of self-doubt, self-hatred and self-pity. To have someone doubt your depression -- especially your family -- must be very painful, and that pain is probably being compounded by the depression itself. I'm not sure why your mother isn't seeing or accepting your depression, but I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

Do you have anyone else you can turn to for support? A friend or other family member who might be more understanding? Have you spoken to your doctor about the way you've been feeling, and if you have, are you taking any medication to help stabilize your moods? What about therapy or counselling? Personally, my counsellor has been a HUGE source of help and support, and quite often the only person I can turn to about many of my issues, some of which are family-related as well.

Keep us posted on how you're doing, and remember that you are not alone in this.

[EJ711]

Silas Gabriel,

This sounds like a very difficult situation.

Are there just two children in your family? Who is older you or your sister? Have your parents always extended preferential treatment to your sister?

Feel free to PM me if you would like to discuss this further.

EJ

Hello, SilasGabrae. Appears to me there may be some gender-role stereotyping going on here. Males are supposed to tough it out. Is there a school counselor that you can talk to about getting help. Perhaps the counselor could schedule a meeting with your parents to discuss your need for professional help?

Good luck.

[msolson81]

I'm very sorry you are going through this tough time. It makes it even more difficult when you don't get the support where you need it the most. Like others have said, try to reach out to people you know you can count on to lend an understanding ear. If you don't feel like that is possible, counseling or therapy can be very helpful. I wish you the best and remember, we are always here to support you

[Rohag]

Hi, SilasGabrael!

Based on the information you've revealed here and on your profile page, I believe it is more likely you will find sympathy and helpful counsel/therapy outside your family than inside it. Additionally, competent counsel will try to appreciate your depression and personal struggles in the greater context of your family rather than focusing on you alone. That is - and I'm probably stating the obvious - your "problems" don't exist in a vacuum; they at least in part reflect the peculiar dynamics of your family.

I wish you well. Your search for goodness is noble.

[lonegael]

Silas, an additional problem is often that women tend to show all the stereotypical depressive symtoms - like weeping, sadness, melancholy., etc - that our culture has conditioned us to think are the "real" symptoms of depression. Men often don't, or don't to the same degree, not because they don't feel the pain, but because those avenues aren't open. Women who don't emote the same way as men can get the same reaction when they say they are depressed, but aren't sobbing wildly or talking death or manage to get themselves into the shower now and then. All too often people think they "Know" how people who are really depressed should act, because they see it in the movies.
I'm really sorry that your folks have reacted like that. That really hurts, and I am inclined to agree with rohag. For whatever reason, your folks aren't able to ive you the support you need, and it's time to turn to a councilor or maybe a pastor. At any rate you need professional help to deal with this, because you can't o this one alone, hon. Best wishes and HUUGGSSSS

[Stranger2]

I agree with the OP that you should talk to your school counselor and have him/her set up a meeting with your parents to discuss getting you into therapy and maybe even to see a shrink.. It could be a chemical imbalance in your mind..I wish you luck!!!

[Junerain]

Could you print out this thread and show it to your parents?

[No_longer_sane]

That's why I haven't told my parents, because I behave happily, but I'm not actually happy, and they would tell me Im being stupid. Sometimes parents don't know best, roll on 16! Then you can go to the doctors yourself x