[1flagwriter]

Guys, my depression episode was seeming to be subsiding the last couple of days, but today hasn't been all that great for me. I'm feeling coming back and I'm scared. I feel like I'm going to die soon and keep telling my family I love them for no reason. I'm jst very clingy to my kids and my wife...when the kids go out to play, I miss them and want to come back in and be near me. When my wife leaves for awhile, I call her on her cell and beg her to come home. What the hell is going on? Do you think my Lexapro is pooping out? I have read that this is common...I have been on it for years. I need some help now guys for me...I just want to cry and cry...sometimes I cry so much that my tear ducts get swollen and my throat get sore.

[No_longer_sane]

Please please please please PLEASE take care of yourself!!! Tell your wife how you feel, and your doctor. Spend as much time with you're children as you can. Do what makes you happy. PLEASE do not let the depression swallow you up again, Take care x

[lorna]

i agree you need to take care of yourself, discussion with your docs are key. If you feel off, its important to dialogue perhaps to adjust meds, or even to release what is bothering you. I suffer as well, and its isolating but so important not to hide it and hurt yourself more.

[lynn09]

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful (((((1flagwriter))))). I agree with no longer sane and lorna that you definitely need to review your meds with your pdoc as soon as possible. In the meantime, don't let this episode take control of you - if necessary, go to the ER - whatever it takes to keep you safe while you ride out this squall. There are plenty of us around here late, so post, chat, PM, whatever works - we will be here to listen and support you.

[angie2716]

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. My system is the same way. I can be on meds for a while and then they stop. They may just need to up your dosage or change it. This is why I haven't been able to find the right meds. Hopefully it will get better. And hopefully you are just having an off day.

[1flagwriter]

Thank you so much for coming back with such encouraging posts!! It's Monday early AM and I am at work.

The problem is that I can't convince my pdoc that the Lexapro might have pooped out, as they say. Last week she up'd my Nuerontin, which I use for Anxiety. Oh, I just don't know what I'm gonna do!

[englishteacher]

Hang in there flagwriter! You are loved and appreciated by many, so don't forget.

Many hugs to you. I hope you feel better and get the meds straightened out.

[1flagwriter]

Monday PM...it was a really bad day. I'm just going to bed in just a minute. I feel really anxious, my kids are acting up which is irritating me...oh to heck with this day...praying tommorrow will be better i'm so sick of this

[idontknow13]

((((((1flagwriter))))))

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by 1flagwriter

oh to heck with this day...praying tommorrow will be better...

Yes, there comes a time when you recognize a day is beyond salvage. Looking to the morrow and getting the best rest you can is an excellent plan.

May tomorrow be better for you!

[anjelmarie]

I pray that things get better for you, I'm sorry your feeling so down. Maybe your T can see you for an emergency appointment. He or She needs to know how bad your feeling.

[englishteacher]

any better flagwriter?

I hope everything works out for you. All you can do is take things a day at a time. And I know what you mean about the crying thing. Sometimes I cry so hard that I almost choke. Peace - Dennis

Originally Posted by 1flagwriter

Guys, my depression episode was seeming to be subsiding the last couple of days, but today hasn't been all that great for me. I'm feeling coming back and I'm scared. I feel like I'm going to die soon and keep telling my family I love them for no reason. I'm jst very clingy to my kids and my wife...when the kids go out to play, I miss them and want to come back in and be near me. When my wife leaves for awhile, I call her on her cell and beg her to come home. What the hell is going on? Do you think my Lexapro is pooping out? I have read that this is common...I have been on it for years. I need some help now guys for me...I just want to cry and cry...sometimes I cry so much that my tear ducts get swollen and my throat get sore.

[1flagwriter]

Guys...

I am completely speechless...there's so many posts with encouraging words and comments! Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers, and remarks! I am honored to be a member of PC for this reason.

I only wanted to take a minute this evening (Tuesday) to check my account, as I do everyday when I get home from work, and my PM inbox was loaded...I started crying because of the outporing of concern!

Just a quick update: Today was an extremely busy day at work. That kept my mind off of being depressed, but I don't believe I performed up to par...kinda slow moving and no motivation. I see my Pdoc tommorrow!

Now, I'm gonna go eat something and cling to my kids, because I think I can draw out some of their "energy"...ya know?

Again, I LOVE you guys so much and thank you...

Your Pal,
Flagwriter

[Envision]

Good for you, another day and you made it. Sounds like anxiety may be the prime factor here from what you described. I have a friend who took ativan for anxiety and said it worked 100% with no side effects. Not sure if/how that fits into the whole picture for you but it certainly seems anxiety is way more understood and treated than depression. Let us know hoe the doc visit goes. Hope they find the right mix for ya.

[1flagwriter]

Envision, Thanks. I'm on Nuerontin for anxiety. I'm talking to Pdoc today to get it increased. I do suffer with GAD, so yeah, it is a contributing factor...

[lynn P.]

Hi there 1flagwriter - have you tried to calm yourself with slow deep breathing exercises? With anxiety it's very important to recognize the cycle of anxiety/fear. You get the thought, you feel upset, then you feel more unconfortable and the thoughts get worse - it's a viscious circle. When you get the thought, use the deep slow breathing and just let the thought sit there - don't try to push it away. Remember your thoughts don't represent reality. Your thoughts are trying to get a reaction out of you, so if you can train your body to calm down, your mind will follow. You can do this deep slow breathing anywhere, even at work - take a few minutes to close your eyes and imagine yourself in some peaceful place. Do this at home as well, preferrably sitting up, so you don't fall asleep lol. Tell everyone in the house - this is Daddy's 30 min. quiet time and just zone out and relax. Think of those thoughts as a 'nasty nag' and the more you worry the stronger he gets - but if you just let the thoughts sit there, eventually they'll go away. I hope you feel better.

[englishteacher]

flagwriter - you give a lot - of course we are concerned for you! You reap what you sew and you have sewn seeds of love here.

[1flagwriter]

I am really encouraged today, as I had a great day at work. I was functional and concentrated. I was able to accomplish alot more than I thought I would. Then I got off early to go see my Pdoc. We had a really good session and have a train of thought that we want to follow for the next few weeks. So, I hope that accomplishes something. I have realized (through therapy) that I have some deep-rooted issues inside from childhood that I need to deal with. And she's going to help.

I really appreciate everyone more than you know. Tonight, I'm going to presume surfing again since I feel better and now I feel charged enough to maybe encourage others, at least I hope.

Lynn, yes I do those exercises, but via Yoga!

I hope to see everyone out there soon.

Your Pal,
Flagwriter

[englishteacher]

Yeah for a good day!