Why am I depressed and how to get out of it?

I have been feeling persistant depression for weeks now... I think I started to feel depressed when I see a guy I like at work and I was afraid of those feelings and didn't know how to deal with those feelings and I kind of denied them and it became depression. So, now I seem to be in a depressed state and can't get out of it. It's not like depression that comes and go. It's like a persistent state of mind that is not normal. I think I tend to repeat myself a lot and can't seem to be on the same page as others when they talk to me.. you know...and causes my behavior to be weird and not normal either.. I think I am still in denial of something, of some of my feelings and emotions but I don't understand why I can't get out of it?? Does anyone know? Could it be because feelings are not rational and have no reason, that's why I can't get out of it?? Do you know how I can get out of it? And do you know why I would deny what I feel for a guy I like?? I'm not very young though, I'm in my thirties.. I don't understand why I am in such contradictory state. On one hand, I like the guy, but on the other hand, I was afraid of my feelings for the guy and didn't know how to deal with them and dare not face them and that becomes depression?? That's the same with opening up to others, I am afraid of opening to others or something but if I don't open up, I would be depressed..
Thanks.

spaceg, get evaluated by a psychiatrist and follow up on appropriate treatment. Good luck.