[Abby]

I feel really lonely. I'm not lonely in reality as i have a very loving and supportive family but it is hard to continually relate to them how down I am feeling. It is tiresome for them and me. There is nothing they can say to make me feel better, and I don't really take comfort in their words anyway. Not because they don't mean anything to me, they do, i know how blessed I am to have people that care, but i'm so detached from everyone that I feel all the love and care stops at the glass wall built between me and them.

Plus sometimes there just aren't words. What words can I use to convey how i feel right now? Nothing does it justice. I think I may be a lot more depressed than even I realise at the moment. I say this because I've noticed that I am always feeling so tired and nothing seems to rejuvenate me. I've also been crying quite a bit which isn't usual for me.

I feel very trapped. I know that how I am feeling is really not significant in the grand scheme of things, i know other people are having hard times too, and i know that i am able to contine with daily life despite it all. So it isn't that bad. But I feel isolated and tired. I have a good family and a good therapist. I have people that care and even someone who wants to listen. But I feel as though I have noone there sometimes. I feel as though I'm battling alone, even though I shouldn't feel that way. I know i'd be a lot worse without family and my therapist so perhaps I should take relief in that.

It is just hard when I end up crying in my car, not knowing why, and having noone to turn to for help.

All of this creates a horrid mixture of helplessness and anger/guilt/shame at not being able to enjoy life. If you let the real me out I truly would suck the soul out of the world. ......I would say - 'i don't know what to do' but I know there is nothing that can be done, this today is how I feel. Noone can change that for me, even if there was someone there, how much difference would that really make. It is always going to be me and only me in the end.

Loneliness of Spirit:
Deeper than the Reach of Love
by James Park

Loneliness is an aching void in the center of our beings,
a deep longing to love and be loved,
to be fully known and accepted by at least one other person.
It is a hollow, haunting sound sweeping thru our depths,
chilling our bones and causing us to shiver.

Is there a person, anywhere,
who has never felt the stab of loneliness,
who has never experienced
the eerie distance of isolation and separation,
who has never suffered the pain of rejection or the loss of love?

The final rupture or breakdown of a valued loving relationship,
the sudden death of someone who was close and special,
an unavoidable separation from a loved one
—these things strike loneliness into our hearts,
the intense experience of the absence of that specific person.

Besides longing for a specific person,
sometimes loneliness has no name attached.
This is the general feeling of being alone,
isolated, separated from others.

And there is a third kind of loneliness—existential loneliness—
which is even deeper and more pervasive than either of the first two.
It often disguises itself as longing for a specific person
or pretends to be yearning for contact with anyone,
but this deeper lack or emptiness-of-being
is not really a kind of loneliness at all.

Being together with other people, even people we intensely love,
does not overcome this deep incompleteness of being.
This inner default of selfhood has never been solved by relationships,
no matter how good and close and warm our relationships might be.

[Abby]

yes, that spoke to me. I feel empty and incomplete.

I'm so sad.

Thankyou for your reply.