[Miss Laura]

I HAVE JUST BEEN SPEAKING TO MY FRIEND ON FACEBOOK. THE OTHER DAY I HAD A SENSE OF SELF HARMING WHICH I USE TO DO WHEN I WAS YOUNGER BUT HAVENT DONE SO SINCE I WAS MID TEENS. ANYWAYS SHE DOESN'T KNOW THIS BTW. I SAID TO HER I HAVE KINDA SELF HARMED AND WE SPOKE FOR A LONG TIME. HOWEVER SHE WAS WANTING TO TELL MY PARENTS AS SHE IS WORRIED ABOUT ME AND SCARED INCASE I DO SOMETHING. I HAVE PLEADED AND SAID I WON'T AND I WILL GET BETTER AND I WILL BE FINE. SHE SAYS ALONG WITH FEELING SUICIDAL SHE THINKS ITS BEST SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY KNOWS. SHE HAS EMAILED MY SISTER. I am raging. I said I would be better and she said she is scared incase I do something.

I HATE HAVING DEPRESSION IT SUCKS!!!!!

I AM **** SCARED ABOUT WHAT MY SISTER IS GONNA SAY. SHE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THE LAST TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT COMMITING SUICIDE. I AM HAVING A SLIGHT PANIC ATTACK AS WE SPEAK....... I AM SUCH AN IDIOT

[theave]

Hi - sorry you're so worried about your friend talking to your family - I hope that they will be supportive, but I know it's not easy - I was also terrified when my OH told my parents how bad things had got as I had been admitted to hospital. But actually, although they were shocked and upset, they were pretty good about it - and I really hope that's the case for you.

Look after yourself and I hope that things improve for you soon

[Miss Laura]

Thanks Theave,

I think they will be disappointed in me and ashamed too. I just can't believe my friend done that to me.

[desperate&disturbed]

im so sorry
that is horrible

[Miss Laura]

My friend told my sister but didnt tell her anything bar I need my family and that she should talk to me. She called me on Tuesday morning and was pretty angry and raging at me. She still doesnt know as I just can't tell them. Any of them. I texted my counsellor and she called me back and I felt better after calling her. She wanted me to stay with my folks on Tuesday night so I did for safety reasons. Think its all getting a bit more sever. This is defo not JUST sever depression as my GP thinks right?

[Lisa Michelle]

Laura, so sorry to hear you're going through all of this!
Well done on reaching out to a friend. I'm sorry it didn't go the way you had really wanted it to (with her telling your sister) but, although you were worried and upset and angry that she'd done it, I think it shows that your friend cares. Why else would she go out of her way to tell your sister that she needed to talk to you?
Did you not talk to your sister? If you don't feel able to tell your family that's fair enough. But I just look at it as even more support. Everyone's family is different though.
I'm glad you have a counsellor and that you were able to text and then talk to her. That's very good and it's great of you to know when you need to ask for some help.

How are things now?

[Miss Laura]

Hey Lisa Michelle,

My sister has not mentioned anything to me despite us being on our own a lot recently. I am really unsure where to start. She is my Twin and that makes it worse. None of them know about my recent "issues" they just know I went to my GP's yesterday.

I was at GP's yesterday and my GP has upped my Citalopram to 20mg. She has also referred me to a Psychiatrist..... I really don't want one and really don't want to go. I am just pretty scared. I even went as far as research what questions they may ask you etc. I am just scared out my wit.

Its hard as I haven't spoke to my friend since that day as I feel betrayed/let down/confidence broken. My friends have been trying to get me in the thinking that she did it cause she cares etc. I kinda believe this but don't fully.

I am feeling crap today. Very hyper yesterday and my crash came this morning. Got the side effects of the upped med- at my folks house and have just been really ill.

I can't talk to my family as they do not undersatnd me or my depression. Its just so hard to talk to them