[Alexandria04]

I seem to be getting some contradictory advice about my situation so I thought you all could maybe give me your opinions on the subject. My husband is deployed and I have a lot going on in my life right now. Some people say that I should stay busy and that it will make the time pass by quicker and keep my mind off of things. This has generally worked for me, but lately I have been so busy with so many things that it is kind of stressing me out. Then some other people tell me that I am under a lot of stress right now and I should try to relax and take it easy. So which do you all think is more helpful, staying busy or relaxing? Thanks!

[Lisa Michelle]

I think if you suffer with depression, or are at risk of suffering from depression, it's better to stay busy. Not stressful busy, but doing things... it can especially be things you enjoy!
When you sit around doing nothing much your mind can start to wander too much, I think that's when a lot of our harmful thoughts occur.
But if you are run down, then rest is also important. I think you can have a mix, though. For me the evenings are time to relax, sit and watch tv. In the day I don't keep busy but when I do my mood is so much higher!

I think though, you have to find what works best for you. And it doesn't hurt to try out each and see which one you prefer

[theave]

I think it depends on what is keeping you busy, and how much you are in control of those things. I found it really hard to allow myself to do enjoyable things because I didn't think I was coping with the things I "had" to do; eventually I ended up stopping pretty much everything - so it would have been better if I'd found some kind of balance before it got to that point.

I've generally found distraction to be helpful, and do quite a lot of puzzles (sudoku and that sort of thing) as it keeps my mind occupied but it's also quite relaxing to do as well - I'm not too good at listening to relaxation CDs or that sort of thing, as it can make me start ruminating too much.

Hope you can find something that works for you.

[Elysium]

Why not both?

Maybe schedule some down time for you and have a movie night with your friends...order some pizza, you can all get comfy in your jammies and watch some good stuff. If you don't want the company, you can snuggle up with a blanket yourself. You could also make time to get a massage (if that's your thing) or a manicure/pedicure.

Low on funds...find a local nature park or arboretum...take some water and a snack, grab a good book and go find some nice trees to sit under or walk some nature trails.

I hope you are able to find a balance.

[Perna]

I think a balance of being not too busy and not too relaxed is a good idea :-)

Seriously, whatever makes you comfortable! When things get stressful for me I deliberately drop a few and chill out reading all day for a day or two and then pick things up again somewhere else further down the line.

[Rohag]

The following from the spousal unit (not a depressive) regarding my own deployment(s):

Originally Posted by Rohag's Spousal Unit, one, each

Well, . . . I had [our son] to look after, shuttle him back and forth to soccer games. So I guess, I did both. Took care of [our son], the flowers, mowing, general house keeping, shuttling [our son], and for relaxing - reading and crocheting.

[Alexandria04]

Thanks for the advice everyone, I agree that a balance of some sort is probably best, it just much easier to say than to do of course! Especially the next few weeks as the end of semester is upon me and I have tons of last minute papers, homework, and studying to do. After the semester is over and summer break is here I will have more down time. But I find, especially at this point if I am relaxing I feel guilty that I am not doing the things I should be doing such as homework and housework. Then relaxing becomes not very relaxing, lol. I guess things will hopefully get better in a few weeks when summer break gets here, but then I worry that without anything to do at all (other than housework) that I will become bored or even more depressed. While school and all the work can be stressful, at least it keeps me busy and I get to see my friends every day. Three to four months of mostly nothing to do and without really having much social interaction (which also helps to keep my mind off of things) is just worrying me I guess.