[wantingtodie]

Why cant anyone see that I am trying to get better. I have gone back to school to try and make something out of my life, I mean at 38 I should already be on the right path but I am not.I have just finished my 1 st quater and I am ready to quite even though I got all A's. It would be better if the people that say they"LOVE ME" could say good job or well done but no I get treated like a animal by them. The only one to keep me motavited for school is my bf always saying I can do it and I can make it. They give the dogs here more respect than they give to me. I am not working I not helping pay the bills, I want to be able to spend a little time with my bf and all of that is wrong.Even though I do give money and help with food and only get unemployment that is not a lot every week.
IS IT WORTH EVEN TRYING TO BETTER MYSELF OR SHOULD I GIVE UP AND LET THEM WIN!!! THEY ALWAYS SAID THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF MY LIFE.
Should I go on or should I quite move out on to the streets and try to find a job or should I keep pushing my self save what I can and try ro find a place of my own.I dont know the answer.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by wantingtodie

Why cant anyone see that I am trying to get better.

Maybe they DO see and it threatens them. Perhaps for some twisted reason they NEED you to not "make something out of my life...."

Originally Posted by wantingtodie

...I should already be on the right path...

"Should" is a word that often does more harm than good. Try to rephrase this.

Originally Posted by wantingtodie

I got all A's.

Brava! Brava! This is an excellent indication your choice to go to school now is the right one.

Originally Posted by wantingtodie

...or should I keep pushing my self save what I can and try to find a place of my own.

This option gets my vote. When you get some distance from the people trying to tear you down, you may find it much easier to press on.

We're on your side, WTD.

[Lisa Michelle]

I think it's incredibly brave for you to go back to school. It's amazing that you've been out of education and can go back into it and get straight As!!! I never even got As the first time round. Give yourself some credit - you're doing a great job of school, why quit now? You'll be in a better positition once you have some qualifications, it will open up a lot of opportunities to you that weren't there before, and it will hopefully show you what you're capable of, so you can be proud of yourself.

Ignore the people who don't want you to try, that's just totally negative and it's not the best for you. Your bf is the one supporting you and wanting you to do well, so concentrate on him not the others. You have every right to study and make something of yourself. And there's nothing wrong in seeing your bf, that's normal. You're paying them money so I don't see the problem, it doesn't sound like you're taking advantage.

Good luck to you, I hope you stick it out and keep on doing what you're doing, I think you'll be glad you did when it's done. x

[perpetuallysad]

Rohag is so correct!

Also, I too would suggest you do everything you can to move out. If you are living with people who treat you badly, its going to be exceptionally hard to get better yourself. And don't quit school. Its good for you. Its a positive thing in your life. Good luck and congrats on such good grades.

[englishteacher]

You sound like you are between a rock and a hard place, but I agree with the others. If there is a way, move out so that you will not be surrounded by negativity. Don't give up on school - straight A's - awesome! My mom went back to college in her late 30s...she did great and it sounds like you are doing great too!
Hugs and good wishes sent your way!

[sdcg76]

Originally Posted by wantingtodie

Why cant anyone see that I am trying to get better. I have gone back to school to try and make something out of my life, I mean at 38 I should already be on the right path but I am not.I have just finished my 1 st quater and I am ready to quite even though I got all A's. It would be better if the people that say they"LOVE ME" could say good job or well done but no I get treated like a animal by them. The only one to keep me motavited for school is my bf always saying I can do it and I can make it. They give the dogs here more respect than they give to me. I am not working I not helping pay the bills, I want to be able to spend a little time with my bf and all of that is wrong.Even though I do give money and help with food and only get unemployment that is not a lot every week.
IS IT WORTH EVEN TRYING TO BETTER MYSELF OR SHOULD I GIVE UP AND LET THEM WIN!!! THEY ALWAYS SAID THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF MY LIFE.
Should I go on or should I quite move out on to the streets and try to find a job or should I keep pushing my self save what I can and try ro find a place of my own.I dont know the answer.

Definately don't let THEM win, you're a winner! I'm in sort of the same boat, I'm 34 and this is my 3rd try at college and lately I'm always asking myself is it worth it? Is this degree really going to mean anything in the long run? Then I look and say yes it is! I graduate in February and can't wait! I can't believe I'm doing the best I ever have in any school (4.0 and on the Director's List!) And I don't have anyone to cheer me on in my corner, no friends, no family, not even my 14 yr old son, just me, it's a HUGE struggle for me each day not to drop out and get a job like my 'loving' sister says I should do, but we all know how the job market is right now but besides that I want a career that makes me happy and deep down I know I have to have my degree to accomplish that! Don't drop out, it's your dream and only YOU can make it come true, live for YOU and not for THEM! I know it's easier said than done, like I said I go through this everyday! Keep reaching for the stars!!

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Wantingtodie))))

Thank you for posting and reaching out. I think you are doing a great job and the fact that you are in school at 38 is awsome. I am 47 and in school. So keep doing what you are doing. You are the important one. What you feel and think do matter. You have a right to hear that you are doing a great job and if those in your life cannot see it then they are the ones missing out.

I think you should keep going save and get a place of your own. By keeping on you will win. They do not deserve to win for it is your life and what you do is about you. Keep reaching out and know that we are here for you. Know that we are listening and that we care. I know sometimes those that are suppose to love you seem to not see what you are doing. But you know. And that is the one to count in the end. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

You know you are trying--you know what you are doing--forget them--keep on going------put blinders on and earplugs in--the light's at the end of the tunnel---

You're almost there--You will make it!!!

((((((((( wantingtodie ))))))))))