[Angelfire]

Omg how sadness take over... the heart feels empty and a lot of questions pops in my head... I am drawing in studies and i can't seem to be able to concentrate in any paragraph. Dying to run away but no where to go... I wish i could kill this unwelcome death intruder in my head... idk how

[Cyran0]

Angelfire, it sounds like your sad and lonely feelings are making you anxious, like you're longing for an escape. I don't know if that's right but that's what I got from what you posted. That's a hard place to be. Is there someone you can talk to or hang out with? Are you in therapy?

[so_punk_rock]

what are these questions that pop into your head?

[muse]

((((((((((((Angelfire))))))))))))

Hang in there! It can be really, really hard to get through a class or schoolwork when you're feeling depressed. I hope you feel better soon! But like so_punk_rock said, maybe it would be helpful to discuss the questions you're thinking about?

((((((((Angelfire)))))))) you are not alone we are here for you

[Angelfire]

yep and no therapy. There is not therapist who can do more then pretend they care or to offer any helpful suggestion. I found out that whenever i vent things out people act as if a pile of stormy debris is passing by so they ride for cover then i will feel invisible.

Originally Posted by Cyran0

Angelfire, it sounds like your sad and lonely feelings are making you anxious, like you're longing for an escape. I don't know if that's right but that's what I got from what you posted. That's a hard place to be. Is there someone you can talk to or hang out with? Are you in therapy?

[keepinon]

Angelfire,

My name is Billie and I understand so well what you are feeling. I tell people that sometimes it feels like a huge black fog that rolls in and takes over my thoughts, the way I see the world, and how my body feels. I become so listless and tired. I ask myself sometimes, "is this what I have to look forward to the rest of my life." Each day brings new feelings, so as they say "this too shall pass."

((((((((AngelFire))))))))with you all the way on that one--in 40 years of therapy-I have found only one therapist that actually seemed to care--really--used to answer calls in the middle of the night, return my calls, and try very hard to find real solutions for me---like she'd really been where I was once, and really cared--I really still miss her-----hell, I can bull the best shrinks---most are not the real thing--they don't care----"-money money money money MONEY!" when they see me. With you.

[Angelfire]

What purpose am I here for? Y don't I understand what is happening to my heart? When will it end? Y my family doesn't understand me? Y God brought me here?

Originally Posted by so_punk_rock

what are these questions that pop into your head?

[Angelfire]

I kn, gosh the many times i been there with my family and she like minimize my pain and dismiss the attitude my son used with me in front of anyone, even her and my husband who can care less.... "so what is your intake on that?" and i just wanted to tell her to go u kn where... I wish she and my husband create a back bone and told my son to respect me or what... my family doesn't have a clue of what loneliness is... i am suppose to be studying and i can't memorize a thing so i browse this pc for hope... frankly i don't trust therapists anymore... read about me and u will understand where i am... thanks for your support... lol

Originally Posted by theodora

((((((((AngelFire))))))))with you all the way on that one--in 40 years of therapy-I have found only one therapist that actually seemed to care--really--used to answer calls in the middle of the night, return my calls, and try very hard to find real solutions for me---like she'd really been where I was once, and really cared--I really still miss her-----hell, I can bull the best shrinks---most are not the real thing--they don't care----"-money money money money MONEY!" when they see me. With you.

[Angelfire]

Hi Billie, thanks for the reply... this is not all you need to look forward your future... i've learn that if i am hungry i need to get up and feed myself... if i want opportunities to come my way i need to speak up and chase it... nothing ever comes easy for me... i get angry easy but i kn it will just count against me so i have to get out and scream in order to cool it... is just that sometimes we want to be heard right! so i hear ya... you are smart just for being here... look for those you kn will understand you... hobbies that will fill your heart... best of luck to you!

Originally Posted by keepinon

Angelfire,

My name is Billie and I understand so well what you are feeling. I tell people that sometimes it feels like a huge black fog that rolls in and takes over my thoughts, the way I see the world, and how my body feels. I become so listless and tired. I ask myself sometimes, "is this what I have to look forward to the rest of my life." Each day brings new feelings, so as they say "this too shall pass."

You have to decide why you are here.

There are some, a very few therapist out there , who do care. I think they are mostly interns--you can get one at a learning college--I do recall another one- she left shortly after saving my life through a crisis intervention-met with me only once- I told her how i felt as if i was falling through an abyss, in the dark and i was void of feeling and i couldn't catch myself---she immediately told me to get down to the nearest college (I had been a H>S> drop out-thought I was too stupid-but had a GED) register- , in two years I'd be a teacher or a Nurse, get a P>O> Box, get my own checking account (spouse controlled all money) get a safety deposit box (for my jewlry etc.) Thereby Empowering myself---I followed her instructions.
I was empowered! I was my own master! She went into private practice after that.

But there are a few like that out there--it's worth hunting for them---it's worth you
feeling good about you-isn't it?

I used to be on another forum- everyone there used to talk therapist too---
after 40 years of 'em, I'd just say "beware the ones who say "well how do YOU feel about that?", then the tricky ones with the clock behind your head that they keep glancing past you at, the ones who have no real input-You can feel it in your gut when they don't care, listen to your gut!
" It's hard to find the right therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist these days--I am very careful. I gave one a try who said she'd seen God, then she still calls me, cause she confuses my number with others, and starts telling me about how she just had knee surgery, a stent put in, etc. etc.. I don't think she really is making a mistake at all--I used to listen to her more than she listened to me!!!

Some of them are far nuttier than we are!!!

If your insurance allows, try many, till you feel at home with one. JMO
Happy Hunting! sad lol (((((HUGS)))) theo