So tired of it

I have gone from being in the hospital and wanting out to being out and wanting in. I have only been out since last Thursday and had a pretty good weekend. Now that the week has begun, I am wanting the security and structure of the hospital. I am so confused. I don't want to be monitored all day, but at the same time can't seem to get anything done around here. I am back in my old ways, sleeping all day, not eating, not caring about what needs to be done... I hate it. Why can't I get better? I don't want to be like this. My daughter needs me, yet I can't seem to give her what she deserves. How is she supposed to survive life, if I can't show her how? I am tired of it. I want it to be all better when I wake up. No more of this stinking way of life. I don't make anyone happy here at home. Lying to get them off my back. Work doesn't even know that I am out. Don't know if I want to go back. How can I? I don't have the stamina to do anything. I am like the walking dead. What did I do to deserve this mess?

Hi Butterfly--I love butterflies!!! I am so sorry for your misery--didn't the docs give you some sort of med to help out? They should have made sure prior to discharge that you were at least functional!
Man, I am so disgusted with the medical profession --you need to get back to a shrink and get the right shrink and get the right meds-JMO---(((buttrfli42481)))
You are not alone---do it for your daughter-if not for you--and we are here for you------------pm me anytime xxxoooo

Theo the only med they changed was my sleeping med, they took me off Restoril and put me back on Ambien. Ambien gives me headaches the next day, which make me not want to do anything, and takes hours to make me sleepy. Didn't do a darn thing about my anti-depressant. I have been on Cymbalta since Nov 2007, 60mgs up until 3 months ago when my pdoc raised it to 90mgs. I go to see my pdoc on the 6th so hopefully things will change then. The hospital was trying to get me set up with a partial day program before I left, but they didn't get it set up in time, are leaving it up to me to do. It makes no sense. I honestly think they discharged me because I was the most stable female patient on the unit and they had others waiting to be admitted. There are only 28 beds in the entire mental health wing at this hospital, so unless you are really unstable you don't stay long. It would be a different story if I had insurance, they would be wanting me to stay. And they wonder why there are so many "frequent fliers".

That's horrible!! I'm in lost vegas the last 4 years- and was shocked at the medical profession here!--You have it really bad there too!!
That's why I'm trying so hard to get back to NY--they don't do this ancient type of medicine in NY!!-I'm just spoilt by it--I am so sorry--feel stuck myself--wrong docs, wrong meds--what's with them and this Ambien? it doesn't work for me either---
makes me have stomach cramping--

I hear Medical all along both coasts is the best--we're stuck --empathy hugs-theo