[Pennstate]

Ever since 11th grade started i have been very sad and feel hopeless. I try to stay home as much as i can,i have over 30 sick day already. I always feel sad and it causes me to not want to do my homework. This past week ive been sick so i havent gone to school. I feel better today but my mom said she doesnt care anymore so ive been crying all morning. I try to let my anger out by punching things and try hurting myself only by punching though, i would never cut myself. It feels like i have no one in the world. No one listens to me and i cant talk to anyone. It feels like because people see me as a pretty happy person its hard for me to seek help or tell anyone. i feel like i should just give up on life and quit school or something. I feel like the only thing im good at is not being near anyone. I used to have a social life but now i just sit at home and do nothing. Im almost 17 and almost a senior in high school but idk if i can make it through senior year. Doesnt really matter at this point since im probably going to get held back. Ive never gotten good grades B's and C's mostly with some A's but not i can barely get C's most of my grades are D's and F's. idk how i can tell my parents how i feel. I feel like because im a guy i cant tell anyone. Im not gonna try to kill myself or anything i cant do that to my friend and family but i do know i need help. I feel like im not going to do anything with my life though so whats the point.

i really need some answers and help

oh and sorry for writing so much but thats how i feel and such

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Pennstate! (No need to reply to my questions; share only what you feel comfortable sharing.)

Originally Posted by Pennstate

Ever since 11th grade started i have been very sad and feel hopeless.

What all was going on around you and in your life at that time?

Originally Posted by Pennstate

I try to let my anger out by punching things and try hurting myself only by punching though...

I slap myself hard (long story).

Originally Posted by Pennstate

...i cant talk to anyone.

You may have trouble talking, but your post is quite expressive! You could easily print out what you've just written and present it to whomever you really trust. Several of us here, including myself, have printed or excerpted our posts and taken them to therapists/doctors/counselors.

I agree, though. You shouldn't talk to just anyone, and I suspect most of the counselors at school wouldn't appreciate what you are experiencing. Maybe there is a counselor (perhaps NOT your assigned counselor), or a teacher (maybe not one of your teachers), or an administrator (in my experience, almost never an administrator), or the school nurse, or somebody in the community you could approach.

Your well-being is too important not to gather what strength you can and attempt to find the right person to approach with how you're feeling. I'm too much the law-abiding type, but this is a case in which it would be right to set aside any school rules or regulations and get to that right person.

Wishing you strength and clarity!

Do what you have to do to get help, Pennstate.

[Elana05]

Hi Pennstate,
It's good you put down your feelings here. Depression can make you feel this way: lost, hopeless, angry at yourself...
These are very clear symptoms. You are important. I would suggest you find someone to talk with. You can search here:
http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
Or find someone who is in your insurance if you have that...

[SophiaG]

Is your mother open to taking you to counseling? If so, you should try it.