[so_punk_rock]

I dont have that much strength. Its really hard not having a social life at all and being around a family that doesnt support you in anything, and you pretty much cant stand being around them....sometimes i feel like a bad person, but i know that familys are supposed to be there for you and all of that good s*%t but i dont have the luxury of being able to tell my family whats on my mind for 1. They dont understand(which im not mad at, i can barely understand my own depression) 2.they dont give a s%$t what i feel 3. They dont listen very well. I cant help but feel like an asshole when i say things like that. but i also feel really neglected. I remember times in my life where i didnt know wtf to do and i had no one to go to an that just makes me f*&%in mad all over again. I have to live a life of unnatural isolation and i understand that is what it is. I want to go out but i dont really feel comfortable. I look like hell and i have no friends......i have a million dreams but dont know where to start. This pain is unbearable and i just have to take it..... Happiness is so hard to optain for me but misery is always there and thriving.............i just dont know what to do.

[perpetuallysad]

so_punk_rock, I am really sorry you are feeling so isolated and separated right now. This is something I too struggle with when I am in my severe depression phases (I'm bipolar). I see that you are 17, so are you still in High School? Can you possibly reach out to a counselor or a teacher you trust? Sometimes just having another person who can listen will greatly reduce your feelings of stress and being overwhelmed. I wish your family were more understanding. It seems to be a common trait of the mentally ill that our families are non-understanding or just not interested in understanding our mental struggles.

I wish you luck in finding some relief from your pain. I know its not the same, but you can always talk to me on here, either in the forums, or in a pm.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by so_punk_rock

i have a million dreams but dont know where to start.

And the depression probably drains you of most of the energy you would need even if you did know where to start.

Perpetuallysad is right. Someone in your world, within your reach, can help you, even if it's only a little help. Maybe that person is associated with school, maybe not.

Of course, you can hang out here as much as you want.

[Mike_J]

Having gone through a similar situation myself, for starters I suggest you follow the advice that others have given and talk to a counselor at your school. Also start making plans to get out of that situation, Highschool sucks (at least it did for me) but it doesn’t last forever and college will give you a chance to start over. You don’t have to go to any big fancy college, anyone will do, I strongly suggest that you move into the dorms, it will put you in a new situation with lots of other people all facing the same thing. They don’t really know anybody at that school, they are on their own for the first time, really can be a “do over” for your life.

[so_punk_rock]

thanx for your advice.. im actually not in school at all.. i dont have a high school diploma. im trying to get my g.e.d. and a job maybe. its kind of hard not to completely give up on myself

[NuckingFutz]

We will not give up on you. You are not a bad person. How about attending some NAMI meetings. You can google NAMI and find out all about it and even where the nearest meeting is. It is also is cool to hang out in here. I even learn stuff from other people's posts. And yes, people will read and respond to this thread. It has a really catchy title (wink).

[Skully]

I know how you feel about the family issues. I finally had to cut my family out of my life because of it. They kept telling me I just needed to get over it. They did not understand. It has been hard to not have contact with my family but it really was the best decision I made. They were toxic to my mental health. I hope things look up for you soon!

[SophiaG]

When I was in D.C. for college, I used to go to support meetings. They made me feel better. I bet if you went to some they'd make you feel better too

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by so_punk_rock

its kind of hard not to completely give up on myself

Yes, it is hard not to completely give up on oneself as a depressive, and I applaud your efforts.

[so_punk_rock]

thank you everyone. being with my family kind of makes me feel like im even more crazy than i already am, but i feel less crazy here lol.

[Elysium]

I am the 595th person to read this post....

Good luck with the GED and job, so_punk_rock.