[azirongrl]

I'm scheduled for a (medically necessary, not cosmetic) plastic surgery in about four weeks. I have needed to have this particular procedure done for over 10 years and my insurance company finally agreed to cover the operation. Of course I scheduled the surgery for the first possible appointment with my plastic surgeon. I am so excited to have the procedure; it's been a long time coming and I'm very excited and hopeful about the changes it will bring in my life.

My question is about the fact that while this is not considered "cosmetic", it will obviously have some effect on my physical appearance (it is plastic surgery, after all). I have never been a very confident person, and have always been self-conscious and awkward in social situations because of my appearance. Now that my "barrier" will be gone, I will have nothing to hide behind. I have never NOT had a reason to be self-conscious. How do I create confidence, when I don't really know what it feels like?

Let me be clear... I have a lot of confidence in myself and I know that I have a tremendous amount of value. I understand that my value and my worth are not based on my looks. I'm a successful business woman and I'm told I'm attractive - I just haven't ever felt that way. So from a purely physical standpoint, I'm nervous about getting attention (in a good way) for the first time.

Any suggestions on how to deal with the inevitable new-found attention?

Thanks!

[shaggy dog]

Just enjoy the attention for what it is and don't worry about creating confidence just let it grow. shaggy

[CindyLuWho]

Take it slow. Don't rush out into major group functions. Let family and close friends know what to expect before you go in and ask for their support. Other people will get used to your new look and stop making comments long before you get used to it. Consider it like a new haircut. Everyone comments the first day and then it's over with.

After all, you're still you.

Eventually, the confidence will grow. It doesn't happen overnight.

[Perna]

I don't know that you will get "additional" attention? I think those people who know you are just going to be happy for you? But I would think of it a little like one who has depression and takes meds and the depression gets better? One doesn't get to feeling better than they normally would, they just get to the baseline of what they would feel if they hadn't had the depression; they don't themselves change, become "happier" or something, that has to do with their interactions within their life and how they personally see things.

I think new people, who don't know you may not know that you had a physical blemish in the first place? So they're not going to react to you any differently than "normal".

I'm guessing from your comments that although others have said they thought you were lovely already, that you either did not believe they really felt that way or you have some notion that loveliness is a agreed-upon measure and if you were lovely before and yet physically flawed, then you would get even more lovely when the flaw was removed. That is kind of squishy thinking as what I find lovely just is lovely, can't really get "more" lovely? How can one compare one mountain top view with another? Is it better in Switzerland or Colorado? It's a personal thing to the person viewing, not the person/thing being viewed. If I say I find you attractive now, to me, you're attractive and I won't like you more just because you've had a physical blemished fixed.

I think you will feel better, both anxiety as you mention but probably also relief and an increase in energy from not having to hold up that hard view of yourself any more. I think you will learn to see yourself better over time, not instantly, and there will be a lot of "Oh yeah, I don't have that problem anymore!" remembering :-)

[SophiaG]

There will be an adjustment period after it is done for you to get used to your new appearance. Oh and btw what you are having done is probably a reconstructive plastic surgery. i've had nearly 20 of these types of surgeries in my life, so I kind of understand.

be sure to follow ALL the doctors instructions after surgery so no complications result. Oh and close your eyes when they begin to anestitize you. if you try to keep your eyes open, the whole room will start spinning.

i hope you have someone at home to take care of you when you are recovering. *hug*