[ixrayu06]

Hi everyone,
I am new to this so bear with me as i try to sort out my thoughts...

My mother has been dealing with depression/suicidal thoughts for a couple of years now, she has attempted suicide once. No one in my family takes her problems seriously. I was recently at her house and found on her computer where she had been keeping a journal about the past few years. Evertrhing she is going through and how she feels daily were in this journal. Almost every post at the end says "i wish i could die". Of course this is VERY concerning to me and i spoke to my husband about it. He said that i need to tell someone and talk to her. I know deep down in my heart that she will try again and evenually suceed if I dont do something. I just don't know where to turn for help! I have talked to her in the past and tried to get her seek help but she refuses. I need help and support from the rest of my family but I don't know how to make them understand how serious this is. You would think after 1 attempt by my mother it would have opened their eyes. I also have a 16yr old brother and this affecting him badly also. He lives at home with my mother and their relationship is very tumultuous b/c like I said he is 16. My parents are married but my father just comes and goes as he pleases. If it wasn't for my mother being suicidal im pretty sure he would have already divorced her, but these games that he plays are not making things better. I have also tried talking to him about all of this and yet again it changes nothing. Im running out of time/options and have nowhere else to turn. Any suggestion?
Thanks
L

[turquoisesea]

to PC L.

I agree that you need to try to get her to seek help. What's important now is that you know it's not your responsibility to keep her safe. You can try but the healing must come from within your mother. Keep trying, I'm sorry I don't have better advice.

[Lisa Michelle]

Do you think she might benefit from talking to people going through the same things? I know that helps a lot of people, myself included. It might be an idea for her to try this website out. I think sometimes there's so much stigma around mental illness and those suffering don't really want to admit that they're ill, but once you begin to see that it's so common to suffer with mental illness, that it's not something wrong with you and that it's OK to be ill and need help... I think sometimes that can help somebody to face up to the fact that they have an illness and that there's absolutely nothing wrong in admitting it and asking for help.

Other than that, my only suggestion I suppose is to KEEP talking about it with her, let her know that you don't find it weird or wrong, that you want her to feel better and that you want her to be around for a long time because you love and need her, and that with help it would improve her life. She doesn't need to be in this black hole constantly, there is a way out, there is a light and you only have to reach for it.
If she begins to open up to you about her feelings perhaps she will then feel more open about going to a counselor or therapist in the future.

Do you spend any time with your mum socially? What is her social life like? Does she have friends, hobbies? What's her daily life like? Maybe she could make some changes so she is experiencing things she enjoys, bringing her maybe a little happiness? I know a lot of women here have tried things like going for a walk and gardening, and although they are small things they make a big difference. For me I enjoy going for walks, to get outside in the fresh air and the exercise creates those 'endorphins' which boost your mood, you really do feel better when you exercise.

[SophiaG]

I am not going to sit here and say that there is any one absolute way you can stop your mother. If she is going to do it she willl do it. THe healing must come from within her.

Your mother is lucky to have someone like you who cares about her .

maybe it would be helpful if you called a crisis line and asked them what to do. I'm sure they know of resources that would be of help.

Hello, ixrayu06. Does your Mother see a general practitioner on occasion? If you could take her, maybe you could tell the doctor about what has been going on? The doctor might even try to refer her to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. At the very least, the doctor might prescribe an antidepressant.

Every state has involuntary commitment laws. You could call your county attorney and find out what needs to be shown for an emergency commitment. If the required showing could be made, she would be evaluated and entitled to a hearing if she wanted to contest the commitment.

You, of course, likely would become the black sheep of the family. You also may save your Mother's life.