[Zwapp]

I am, in most ways, lucky.
was born in a wealthy part of the world, with parents who love me, care, and know how things work in life, and the world, good economy and all.
really, my parents are the greatest, which makes this entire situation worse, I just care too much about them.

My life hasn't been simple, school has been hell, both social and educational.
I think I started with being depressed.. not really sure, sometime in my youth, I know I had "wishful thinking" before I understood the concept of death, which of course turned to suicidal thoughts when I did.
so if we say that I started being depressed at the age of 10, that would be 12 years of depression now.

the only reason I'm still here is because I care, like I said above, my parents, my sister, and quite a few other people just care too much about me, and I can't stop worrying how my death might destroy them.
I also have my sister almost living off my economy, being depressed has it's pluses, since I don't care for anything I just work and let life pass by makes saving really easy.

another note: I've been to therapy, sort of, been to sessions with a therapist, that was about my social problems (school bullies hurt social life), but I was hinting, a lot, about my situation..
I've also hinted this to my parents (I think they may have taken it a bit, but are afraid confronting it will just make it worse), my sister already knows it, but she seems to react like I suspect my parents are.
my doctor also dismissed it....

it feels like I can shout people in the face "I'M DEPRESSED" and they still fail to realize it.

apart from all that my life is like "on hold".


side note: I'm having daily nosebleeds lately, for no reason at all, anyone know some good resources or something.

[SophiaG]

Instead of hinting and being cryptic with your Therapist you should just be straight forward with how you feel. "I think I may be depressed."

oh and here are a few links for nosebleeds.

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Nose-Bleed

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdo...ddleColumn0005

[Lisa Michelle]

I know this is hard, but I think it would maybe help to not HINT at the situation, but to just lay it out there, as it is.
I think my family were a lot like yours, when I was 16 it was obvious I had developed problems, I was so depressed and also developed anorexia - my mum could SEE I wasn't eating and I was losing weight, but other than "do you have an eating disorder" and me saying "no", that was all she did, all she said.
Looking back I think, she was the parent and she should have helped me without me asking.... but, I think parents don't always know what they're doing. Especially if you're the first in your family to really be depressed, this might be new for them and maybe they think it's a "phase" that you will "grow out of" ... it's not true, but maybe they mistakenly think that??
I think you need more help. You deserve to be well and not just get along in life, but enjoy life and really live it. Have you tried medication? Perhaps sticking at therapy, but being open, will help you too.

With the nosebleeds, I wouldn't worry too much, I've googled that problem before (I don't have nosebleeds now but was having them a while back) and didn't find anything concerning... but if you are worried go see a doctor. I think it could be stress (high blood pressure type thing), or maybe if you've had a cold you could have ripped something inside your nose, that type of thing. Also though, I was getting nosebleeds years ago in uni acommodation, and turned out a few people in my flat were also... months later found out there was a small gas leak downstairs and it could have been due to that.
Best advice is google it or go to the doctors, but don't panic as it's unlikey to be anything really, we all get them sometimes x

[Zwapp]

made another appointment with my doc, see where it goes from there.