[MoonTurtle]

Grrr...was feeling really down today, and was irritable to some people at work, which makes them want to avoid me, which makes me feel worse. I'm so mad at myself!! Why do I keep doing this? I just annoy people and drive them away. Not that I blame them. If I were them, I wouldn't want to deal with me either.

How can I cope with sad/angry feelings at work? I can't do things that I might try at home (read a book, watch a funny movie, etc) when I'm at work. Can't even really escape for a while and take a walk outside. I have a desk job where I answer phones throughout the day, so it's really hard for me to get away from my cubicle, unless it's during my lunch hour. There are so many times that I've sat at my desk fighting back tears or resisting the urge to pound my head against the wall.

I don't know what to do. I mean, this isn't exactly my dream job, but I don't want to lose it either. Just trying to hang in there until I can figure out something better to do with my life. But, some days I really question whether I can deal with this job, or any job, anymore.

I'm so confused. Any advice? Thanks!

[canineserenity]

Would a picture of something that makes you happy help? I have a picture of my dogs on a day that we spent on a hike. It was a great day and the memory always makes me smile.

[justjoanie]

I have the same issue, but I work with the public (work at a bank) and sometimes it's so hard to make clients feel welcome when all I want to do is cry.
Sometimes I'm able to get with one of my employees and laugh about something. I have one that knows my moods, and she knows when to do something funny, or start talking about something that makes me happy. I like the other poster's suggestion of a happy picture.
If all else fails.... try chocolate

[rawwar]

If it gets too bad, can you keep a notepad in front of you where you can write what you really want to say to people? Go all out until you get so over-the-top with it that even you have to smile.

And breathe. Sometimes I just play the phrase "all I have to do right now is breathe in and then breathe out" over and over again in the back of my head. Thinking about holding it together for longer than each breath, much less until the end of the day can be overwhelming sometimes, so breaking it down breath by breath until the very worst "I want to dissolve into the floor" moments pass can be helpful.

Hang in there! You've made it this long and that counts for so much! Give yourself lots and lots of credit for that.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Rawwar

If it gets too bad, can you keep a notepad in front of you where you can write what you really want to say to people? Go all out until you get so over-the-top with it that even you have to smile.

Shakespearean Insulter - always good for REALLY biting insult ideas!

[Lisa Michelle]

This is a really simple one, but can you try a breathing exercise? Just slow, deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth, for 3 or 4 minutes. That's to calm you down/ relax.

I don't know what people think of this idea, but have you tried self help books? They often have excellent techniques for things like negative thinking. I mean, if you can sit and work and every time a negative thought comes into your head, TRY to switch it off, don't engage with it, don't let yourself keep thinking about it. You'll be surprised how much each thought is actually your choice, once you NOTICE your thought you can stop it. Like, if your inner voice starts chatting away "I hate being sat here, and everyone is so annoying today...." if you are aware of your thought, you can tell yourself "stop", don't carry on with the inner chatter. (I'm not good at explaining this technique but I'm learning it from a book called 'the power of now').

I do sympathise moonturtle, I said in another thread how I hated a job I was in for years. I think if you're truely miserable doing that job then it's great if you can think of something you would enjoy more. Do you have any ideas?

[slowinmi]

MoonTurtle,

I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way. I can sympathize as I'm going through a similar experience myself right now. Lisa Michelle had some excellent suggestions. You're probably going to laugh at my suggestion, but I've found that what works for me when I feel like that is to say to myself:

"As much as you (meaning myself of course) might wish it were different, the world does not revolve around you." Then I try to look at the situation I'm in from someone else's viewpoint and think what might be helpful for them.

This may not help you at all, but I had to throw it out there. I hope you find your "happy place" and feel better soon.

slow

[MoonTurtle]

Hooray for figuring out how multi-quote works!

Originally Posted by canineserenity

Would a picture of something that makes you happy help? I have a picture of my dogs on a day that we spent on a hike. It was a great day and the memory always makes me smile.

Yes, that is a good idea. I'll look through my photos and see what I can find!

Originally Posted by justjoanie

I have the same issue, but I work with the public (work at a bank) and sometimes it's so hard to make clients feel welcome when all I want to do is cry.
Sometimes I'm able to get with one of my employees and laugh about something. I have one that knows my moods, and she knows when to do something funny, or start talking about something that makes me happy. I like the other poster's suggestion of a happy picture.
If all else fails.... try chocolate

Oh yes, I love the chocolate idea!!

Originally Posted by rawwar

If it gets too bad, can you keep a notepad in front of you where you can write what you really want to say to people? Go all out until you get so over-the-top with it that even you have to smile.

And breathe. Sometimes I just play the phrase "all I have to do right now is breathe in and then breathe out" over and over again in the back of my head. Thinking about holding it together for longer than each breath, much less until the end of the day can be overwhelming sometimes, so breaking it down breath by breath until the very worst "I want to dissolve into the floor" moments pass can be helpful.

Hang in there! You've made it this long and that counts for so much! Give yourself lots and lots of credit for that.

Actually, sometimes I do that. When I can't say what I REALLY want to say to somebody, I write out what I'm thinking, and then tear it into tiny pieces and throw it away. It is cathartic!

I will try the breathing technique. When I go to yoga class, I do find it incredibly calming, and I think the awareness of breathing has a lot to do with that.

Originally Posted by Rohag

Shakespearean Insulter - always good for REALLY biting insult ideas!

Hilarious!!
I was LOL at this one: "Thou weedy scurvy-valiant horn-beast!"

Originally Posted by Lisa Michelle

This is a really simple one, but can you try a breathing exercise? Just slow, deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth, for 3 or 4 minutes. That's to calm you down/ relax.

I don't know what people think of this idea, but have you tried self help books? They often have excellent techniques for things like negative thinking. I mean, if you can sit and work and every time a negative thought comes into your head, TRY to switch it off, don't engage with it, don't let yourself keep thinking about it. You'll be surprised how much each thought is actually your choice, once you NOTICE your thought you can stop it. Like, if your inner voice starts chatting away "I hate being sat here, and everyone is so annoying today...." if you are aware of your thought, you can tell yourself "stop", don't carry on with the inner chatter. (I'm not good at explaining this technique but I'm learning it from a book called 'the power of now').

I do sympathise moonturtle, I said in another thread how I hated a job I was in for years. I think if you're truely miserable doing that job then it's great if you can think of something you would enjoy more. Do you have any ideas?

I've tried the negative thinking technique you mentioned, and it does work for me somewhat, but I'm not too consistent about doing it. I'll have to try harder.

RE: hating my job -- well, maybe hate is too strong a word, but it's basically the exact opposite of what my ideal job environment would be, and I feel so painfully out-of-place there. I've been taking a few classes at the community college, and I'm thinking about different careers, so hopefully I'll decide on something soon. I'm having a really hard time making a decision about this, and I've lost interest in so many things that right now, nothing stands out to me as being something I'd really enjoy. But, I'm going to keep taking classes and trying things, and hope that something will spark an interest again! Not willing to give up just yet!

Originally Posted by slowinmi

MoonTurtle,

I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way. I can sympathize as I'm going through a similar experience myself right now. Lisa Michelle had some excellent suggestions. You're probably going to laugh at my suggestion, but I've found that what works for me when I feel like that is to say to myself:

"As much as you (meaning myself of course) might wish it were different, the world does not revolve around you." Then I try to look at the situation I'm in from someone else's viewpoint and think what might be helpful for them.

This may not help you at all, but I had to throw it out there. I hope you find your "happy place" and feel better soon.

slow

I think that's a great suggestion. Sometimes I do just stop what I'm doing, and tell myself "in the grand scheme of life, this doesn't really matter" or "is XYZ really worth getting that upset about?" and that helps me shift my perspective instead of dwelling on the moment.

Thanks everyone for the great suggestions!! I really appreciate all the support!