[geez]

I want to curl up in a ball and die. I feel like I can't have a real relationship in my life. I feel like I have this need that will never be fulfilled and it's killing me. The need I have has only led to pain and disapointment in my life. I can't rely on anyone as it ends up me being just a fool in the end.

Thanks for listening. I read the guidlines and I'm not here to post about doing anything stupid. Just feeling low.

[lynn P.]

(((geez))) - I'm sorry you're feeling very low. What kind of relationship are you yearning for? I've experienced some devastating life disappointments. All I can say is, this time will pass. I've learned to rely on my own inner strength, that way I won't feel disappointed. Sending you warm hugs and good vibes for a better tomorrow.

[geez]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

What kind of relationship are you yearning for?

Hi Lynn - I'm yearning for that feeling of completeness (sounds corny). I've never had a strong bond with anyone in my family (I wish I had that with my mother but because of circumstances of who she is that will NEVER HAPPEN and i accept that as much as it hurts). To sum it up don't expect anything and don't ask for anything on the most basic level.

I don't have a close friendship with anyone. I have acquaintances galore but no real close friends. There is no one that wouldn't disappoint me.

I don't have a great relationship with my husband.

I'm going through a break in my confidence with my T (posted in the psychotherapy section). I had a bad experience at my last T session and I felt like she could be the one to never disappoint me (transference perhaps???). I know that's silly to say - to put that much trust in someone. Stupid i know. I guess I'm looking for that perfection that will never happen. I just don't know what a real relationship is supposed to feel like??? - not sure if that makes sense it's just what came out of my head.

[Rohag]

Hi! I'm sorry you're feeling down, Geez. Nothing wrong with wanting to feel complete.

Originally Posted by Geez

I'm going through a break in my confidence with my T...

That can be devastating!

What do you think might make you feel better?

[geez]

Originally Posted by Rohag

What do you think might make you feel better?

A drink?

Seriously - it helps to just be able to post here. I'm going to be talking about this at my next T session on Tuesday. It's going to be hard but I have to do it. I have to speak up. I'm not going to email her as she doesn't do email responses. I could call her but I need to have this conversation with her face to face.

It's really difficult for me right now but intellectually I know this emotion will pass. I just want to wallow in it right now. I want to remember what this feels like so I do not make the same mistake again.

Thank you for listening.