Worthless

and depressed and so wanting to drink. I can't see a way out. It's not going to get better. The bipolar will never get better, the depression may subside in time, but it will also come back in time, over and over again. I can't stand it. I can't stand anything anymore. I just want to be normal.

Hope this helps...


Nunc Coepi “Now I Begin.”

Nunc coepi is a Latin phrase often heard in seminaries of old. It, means, “Now I begin.” Novices were taught to say this every morning, signifying that what was is past, what will be is hidden in the future, and it is only now--this day, this moment--that counts.
Not what I did yesterday, or what I may do tomorrow. Now I begin. Nunc coepi.
Every day is another chance and a fresh start. It’s important to remember that. Too many of us are hyperaware of all the yesterdays we wasted or phantom tomorrows that could bring us down. Yet we’re hardly aware at of the day that’s right here in our hands, shimmering with possibilities. Why do we do that? Why do we so habitually discount and brush off the wonder of the present moment?
One reason may be that we don’t trust ourselves. Because of past mistakes, we’re afraid to get very hopeful. In fear of failing again, we choose to downplay the possibilities and try to settle for what comes, rather than actively creating it. This bottom line may be that we really don’t believe in second chances.
But each day is new whether we believe in it or not. We can begin fresh each morning if we decide to live our lives that way. The miracle isn’t that the chance is there; it always has been there. The miracle is what happens when we reach out to embrace it.

As long as there is life, there is the chance to start over.

This page was taken from the book, Believing In Myself, by Earnie Larsen & Carol Hegarty.

I am sorry I feel this way. I know it is a slap in the face to life itself. I just can;t help it. Everything seems so bleak and final. I don't believe in hope right now. But thank you for replying. I will think of this and take it under consideration. Perhaps it will bring back just a measure of hope.

(((((((Lauru)))))))
I'm not sure what to say, except that I can relate to how you feel, and I'm here if you ever need to talk. Sending you many hugs, and hoping you feel better soon. I hope you'll keep posting about how you're feeling.

Being hopeless is a sign of depresssion. It's your depression. And depression clouds things and makes what is a sunny day (for the sun always shines behind the clouds) cloudy.

Oh and it's worth it to listen to this song:

True Colors - Sung by Glee

((((Lauru))))

I really hope you feel better soon