[feary]

It's a sunday and I am in bed while my mother is downstairs with my kids

i am so depressed and very tired, I don't feel like going and hanging out with them at all

I have no energy

nothing to do today

so guilty but I literally cannot move

i feel impending doom and heartbroken to think i will die soon and leave them and I can't even care for them

so scared of living

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((feary))))

It is so heavy on us to feel the fear of dying and the fear of living. But you have children and you must try for them if not for yourself. I know how difficult it is to attempt a happy face when you feel so down, but you must pull yourself together.

The days they come to you are important to them as they are to you. You're a loving mom allow that to show and it will come back to you.

Please know that you have us too, we are always here and we always support you as much as we can,

Rhiannon

[REINE D AMOUR]

hi,i know exactley what you are talking about but you have to be strong for yourself and for your kids.

[feary]

no no no this is just too overwhelmingly intense I feel like I am going to die right this second every second

and I have no direction no routine, I feel like a chicken with its head cut off

so many things are messed up in my life there's no normalcy whatsoever

I panic about the smallest most random things, anything will set it off , everything is a trigger

[ECHOES]

Today you feel like hiding.
Maybe another day you will feel like not hiding.

[REINE D AMOUR]

feary, i hope you feel better now ?

[feary]

no i am feeling worse

my therapists and psychiatrist are fed up, they want me to find someone else to help me

my family just ignores me and says everything will be fine

i can't shake this extreme worry about everything

i fear everything every second

i feel guilty

i am just getting worse

I am very angry at everyone for not making me feel loved and comforted but making me feel worse by scolding me or saying negative things about me

i do so much to try and help myself but they are just not supportive enough

[owen2110]

I understand what you are feeling, I have a lot of the same kind of issues.

What I am slowly learning is to beat depression, do the exact opposite of what you feel like doing, seems to help me.

If you feel like staying in bed, get out of bed, if you don't feel like playing with the kids, play with the kids, etc.