[garden gal]

I feel like I'm going downhill fast... struggling pretty intensely with very low mood, low energy, lack of motivation, crying spells, thoughts of death. I used to feel like I had an anchor in the storm when I faced these things because I had a great therapist. He retired last week. I've seen my new therapist once, and now she's on vacation this week. I feel like I'm completely alone in the world. I almost called a crisis line last night, which I've never done before. I did have coffee with one of my best friends today... but she and her partner have a lot going on in their own lives right now, and generally haven't been very available. My life feels hopeless, like a disaster on so many different levels. What a mess I've made of everything!

[gelfling]

if you are thinking about calling the crisis line you should call the crisis line - just having someone on the other end of the line can be the difference between acting on urges and not.....they will talk to you and i have never felt like they were judging me. Kudos on meeting up with a friend today - you need that support! Hopefully your new therapist will be as good for you as the one you just lost!

[afraid]

garden gal, I echo what gelfling said if you need to call the crisis line please do that,I too have had days and nights where I felt like I didn't want to be here anymore,I also have had to deal with changing psycharist over and over again. Every time I get comfortable with one they leave and another is assigned it's really frustrating I now have a case manager and she helps me a lot. I'm glad your sharing your feelings and thoughts with someone else it's not good to keep things like that to yourself. Please say a sincere prayer and tell you therapist everything your going through. We love you here and wouldn't want anything to happen to you. I don't know you but I can definately can identify with your pain. keep sharing and stay prayed up.

[paulswife1]

I AGREE WITH GELFLING AND AFRAID. I WAS AFRAID TO CALL A CRISIS TEAM ONCE. THOUGHT THEY WOULD TAKE ME AWAY. THEY DIDN'T. BUT WHEN THEY GOT HERE IT WAS LIKE A WEIGHT HAD BEEN LIFTED FROM MY SHOULDERS. THE CRISIS TEAM IS THERE FOR A REASON AND THEY WORK. AND THEY CARE. MAKE THE CALL

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((gardengal))))

You didn't make a mess of anything

[garden gal]

I am still struggling pretty intensely. I did do an intake today for a depression therapy group, which I'll start tomorrow. I also got an appointment scheduled with my psychiatrist for the day after tomorrow. But wow, it has been a while since I have felt this completely hopeless about my life. I'm not sure if I need to be hospitalized or not. I'm not planning to act on the thoughts I'm having, and I'm not an impulsive person. But, I'm just feeling so dang miserable, that if giving up my clothes with strings and checking myself into my local psych ward might help, I'm almost at the point of being willing to do that. The one time I've been hospitalized (about a year and a half ago), it was helpful. Could I be lucky enough to have it be helpful a second time? I don't know...

[refactory man]

you can talk with me anytime you want. I'll be your friend. I don't think you are alone.

[Elana05]

Garden Gal,

I suppose all I can say right now is that I can really relate to the feelings you describe.
You did not mess anything up...
Keep taking care of yourself. It is the most important thing.

Just know that I am thinking of you and sending you many, many good thoughts and wishes.
I know the awful hurt you are talking about.
I don't know if you have ever tried it... but maybe some acupuncture might help temporarily...

E