[ErinBear]

Hi,

I keep trying to help myself get better and I just seem to keep getting worse and worse...and worse...I don't know what to do any longer. I am feeling so discouraged and hopeless. I'm sorry, writing this here isn't right either. I just don't know what to do. Thanks for listening.

Take care,
ErinBear

[Rapunzel]

Saying something, here or elsewhere, is exactly the right thing to do. It can be hard to let peple know that you need help, but when you feel like you are just getting worse even though you are trying to get better, what you need to do is to let someone help you.

This probably isn't going to be enough here, although it still can help. We understand because a lot of us have been there too. Just knowing that you don't have to face it alone is at least something.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>

[nowheretorun]

Hi Erin

What are you doing to feel better?

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

[ErinBear]

Hi Rapunzel,

Thanks so much for writing back to me. I really appreciate it. I'm trying really hard but....things keep getting worse anyway. It's bewildering. Thanks for caring. I just don't know what to do right now.

Take care,
ErinBear

[ErinBear]

Hi nowheretorun,

You asked what I am doing to feel better. I am trying to eat healthy foods and get some exercise. I am journaling and praying. I am seeing a counselor. Those are some of the things I am doing to feel better. But somehow I am feeling worse and worse and worse....I don't know what I am doing wrong.

Thanks for listening.

Take care,
ErinBear

[PlanningtoLive]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Erin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry. What is getting worse? The depression? I don't know if you are on any meds?

It does help to vent here......you are around people that genuinely care about you, and that is important. What is making you feel so bad? home, work, your own opinion of yourself?

I really want to help you if I can.........please tell me more.

[Peanut61]

Hugs for you ((((((((((((((((((Erin Bear)))))))))))))))))))).

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[ErinBear]

Hi Mary Alice,

Thanks for the hugs and for the concern. The depression is worse, yes. I'm having trouble with flashbacks, with physical pain, with my opinion of myself, suicidal thoughts, self-injury again (which I thought I'd ended many years ago), with a lot of things. I keep trying to make things better and still things are getting worse. Even things that helped in the past don't seem to be helping.

No, I don't take anti-depressant medication, if that's what you're asking about. I tried many different kinds of medication over the past ten years or so and none of them worked for me. I don't have medication coverage now and can't afford them either even if I were going to try them again.

I continue to think of you, Mary Alice, and send good wishes in your direction. I hope you're hanging in there.

Take care,
ErinBear

[ErinBear]

Oh thank you Peanut....hugs right back to you too

(((((((((Peanut))))))))))

Take care,
ErinBear

[PlanningtoLive]

Erin, both the hugs and the concern are a given..........it's as easy as breathing for me to worry about you.

You amaze me.........you're having problems and yet you worry about me :::::::scratching head::::::::::::: you are such a good person.

If I can be of any help, even to vent to, please let me know. We'll hang together

[nowheretorun]

I can definately relate to the losing ground experience.... My thoughts are that it isn't working either because you're not doing it right, or it isn't right for you. I'm reminded of the Wright Brothers and thier many unsuccessful attempts to build an airplane before they finally succeeded.

One thing I have to wonder is, are you treating the symptoms, or treating the cause? Flowers may cheer us after some heartbreak, but when the flowers have died, the heartbreak remains. Then we either need to buy more flowers or risk more pain in looking at the heartache. If we buy more flowers, it's just a matter of time before they die too.

Sometimes it's very hard to see the cause of depression because the symptoms are confusing and painful themselves. I used to feel socially forgotten. I was very depressed about it. I thought if I could just find friends, the depression would leave. Then I found that no matter what group of people I was around, the feelings were the same. My depression wasn't caused by lonliness, lonliness was a symptom. The true cause was a shortage of self-confidence and self-esteem. I wasn't invited because I wasn't any fun to be around. That hurt to recognize, but it was the truth I had to finally accept and work to change if I ever wanted the depression to go away.

Do you believe your depression is event, or medically caused?

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius

[heatherm]

{{{{{{{{{{ErinBear}}}}}}}}}}}

I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts...please take care of yourself.

Have you talked to your doctor about your financial situation re: meds? Maybe he/she could direct you to other means for them? Some doctors offer samples til you are on your feet, etc. Just a thought hun.

Hope you are doing better today.


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

[ErinBear]

Thanks Mary Alice

((((((((((((((((((((((Mary Alice))))))))))))))))))))

Take care,
ErinBear

[ErinBear]

Hi nowheretorun,

I suspect that my depression has a combination of causes - probably some medical, some event-related. I have been trying to work on everything that I can to alleviate the problems. I believe that you're correct, one needs to resolve the underlying problems to create a solution. I've been working at that. Some of the problems, like the severe chronic pain, are unresolvable and untreatable, so that's hard. That adds to the depression. I know when it was treated, the depression was better. But I have tried to resolve the other problems.

Thanks for sharing your ideas, I appreciate it.

Take care,
ErinBear

[ErinBear]

Hi Heather,

Thanks so much for your note and your thoughts. Yes, I do know about patient assistance programs, and they can be a great help. I do get some medications that way for other health conditions. My doctors haven't suggested any anti-depressants etc. I think we've tried every class of medication that's out there.

Thanks for sharing your ideas though!

Take care,
ErinBear