[musicnmoods]

I'm just interested in knowing if anyone else ever feels "uncomfortable" being happy? Almost like you don't belong in the feeling? Like you're an imposter playing a role, pretending to feel contentment with what everyone else seems to find worthwhile and meaningful? And then the second you're depressed again, while you don't necessarily "want" to feel this way, once back, it's almost like a sense of, "Ahh.... now THIS feels right." ?

[sundog]

I know what you mean. I think this has to do with our depressed thinking. For example, perhaps some of us feel that we don't deserve to be happy. Or perhaps, after a while we become so accustomed to feeling depressed that there is a kind of perverse comfort in "the devil we know". And sometimes if I've been feeling good, I start to get anxious because I know the good feelings can't last and I dread the fall back into depression again (whereas if I'm depressed anyway, there isn't so far to fall).

At any rate, I can relate to this!

[musicnmoods]

Originally Posted by sundog

I know what you mean. I think this has to do with our depressed thinking. For example, perhaps some of us feel that we don't deserve to be happy. Or perhaps, after a while we become so accustomed to feeling depressed that there is a kind of perverse comfort in "the devil we know". And sometimes if I've been feeling good, I start to get anxious because I know the good feelings can't last and I dread the fall back into depression again (whereas if I'm depressed anyway, there isn't so far to fall).

At any rate, I can relate to this!

Yes, you understand what I mean PERFECTLY.

[Rohag]

Hello, Musicnmoods! It is difficult for me to say just how closely my experience of depression approaches yours. I've reached the point where something, either my meds or some psychological defense or both, truncates all my more intense emotions. My mind turns off both the unpleasant and the pleasant when they threaten to exceed the narrow range my psyche sets for them.

I do experience occasional explosions or, more often, "implosions," but those have become rarer with my withdrawal from society.

I guess my answer to you is that within moments of my approaching happy, my psyche reacts by flooding my system with anti-emotion antibodies. It has become automatic.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( musicnmoods ))))))))))))