[katika]

For a week I had a holiday. I work as a live-in carer and I like my job. But its downside is that I can not meet my family or my friends. Last week I spent my time with my best friend and she helped me a lot. I think I am better. Except that I am still very tense.
I realised that I had anger and frustration in me and I used my best friend's fiancé as a target and I put it all out on him. He forgave me. But I don't know where my frustration came from.
I used to be just very-very-very sad or very-very happy then later mainly just sad.
About 5 or 6 years ago I started to feel anger as well. I got really irritated and I didn't know why. I was very surprised about it because I never felt anger before. I really didn't. That is possible that I suppressed it or rather I just always thought about myself as a person who is the least important on Earth. Sort of ' that I live' person. If I recall it I did feel that way. But then I started to think that I am better than I thought I am... Probably that it is. I think I found the answer for my question.

So basically I have frustration and anger in me because I have to admit that I am human and not a or a or a goddess...
I think it is good that I found the answer but I don't know how to deal with the anger and with the frustration or it might just go away now that I know what caused it...

I am very tonight. I am sorry.
Here we go again...
Thanks for listening...

[Rohag]

Hello, Katika! I'm glad you had a holiday and used some of it for thinking and spending time with your best friend. Maybe it's much too soon to tell, but I do hope your realisation concerning the anger problem bears fruit.

[tangodream]

Anger is a part of all us--it is one of the human emotions. Anger itself is neither positive or negative emotion--it is what you do with your anger than makes it "good" or "bad". Suppressing your anger only makes it come out sideways--disguised as another emotion or something. It is okay to feel anger, it is okay to realize that it is a part of yourself. Don't feel bad over it. Just try not to let your anger out on other people who don't deserve it or in destructive ways.

Kim

[katika]

Originally Posted by tangodream

Anger is a part of all us--it is one of the human emotions. Anger itself is neither positive or negative emotion--it is what you do with your anger than makes it "good" or "bad". Suppressing your anger only makes it come out sideways--disguised as another emotion or something. It is okay to feel anger, it is okay to realize that it is a part of yourself. Don't feel bad over it. Just try not to let your anger out on other people who don't deserve it or in destructive ways.

Kim

Thanks tangodream. The funny thing is that I thought I don't let my anger out on others at all, ever then I had to realise that I did. Not just my best friend fiancé but mainly on people I love, the people who are the most close to me, like my mum or my brothers or even my best friend. I do not want to hurt them, I want to love them. Sometimes I feel I am like a big elephant in the china-shop.(or this wheel).

Thank goodness they tell me if I do that. But they care. And I miss them a lot.

Anyway. I always labelled anger as a "bad" and destructive feeling, because I connected it to aggression. But thank you now I see it a bit differently and understand it a bit more. And you are right that suppressing it will cause more damage and not if I recognise it and deal with it in a way what will harm nobody (including myself).

[Gus1234U]

anger can also result from frustration, or build up from irritations, or even just be a brain chemistry disorder. if you are able to find the time to meditate everyday for just half an hour, or even twice a day for that time, i dare say you will begin to see what is underlaying your daily experiences. anyway, don't know if you are interested in meditation, or maybe prayer suits you better, or walking without thinking about things,, what ever gets you a little room to let the "basement" of your mind air out. good luck, and do keep us posted on what works, you might be doing someone a big favor~ Gus

[Butterflyangel]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

anger can also result from frustration, or build up from irritations, or even just be a brain chemistry disorder. if you are able to find the time to meditate everyday for just half an hour, or even twice a day for that time, i dare say you will begin to see what is underlaying your daily experiences. anyway, don't know if you are interested in meditation, or maybe prayer suits you better, or walking without thinking about things,, what ever gets you a little room to let the "basement" of your mind air out. good luck, and do keep us posted on what works, you might be doing someone a big favor~ Gus

I have been always curious about meditating. But I never could clear my mind enough to or I probably just don't know how to. I have to take med.s to get my mind and anxiety to slow down. How do you manage to do it?

[katika]

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

anger can also result from frustration, or build up from irritations, or even just be a brain chemistry disorder. if you are able to find the time to meditate everyday for just half an hour, or even twice a day for that time, i dare say you will begin to see what is underlaying your daily experiences. anyway, don't know if you are interested in meditation, or maybe prayer suits you better, or walking without thinking about things,, what ever gets you a little room to let the "basement" of your mind air out. good luck, and do keep us posted on what works, you might be doing someone a big favor~ Gus

Thanks Gus!

You reminded me of meditation! I always was interested in meditation. I recently read about it in general (The Bible of Meditation: I do not remember of the author, but was helpful on the subject). This book helped me to understand the concept of 'meditation' more then anything before. I always thought about it as something, what helps me to relax, but it can be so much more!

And now I am reading a book from Bhikkhu Bodhi: 'The Noble Eightfold Path (The way to end of suffering)'. This book also very helpful and gives me an anchor or a base knowlage for meditation.

To me reading books in philosophical questions helps to realise what I do wrong and what I do right in my life. My target is to find my inner peace and to cease my stomach ache for good. To become healthy and understand the meanings of my feelings. And of course to find the way out of the chaos I have in my head.

I am confused a lot of the time, but now I started to appreciate that, because when I find myself feeling, that I know nothing about anything and I feel very stupid and empty headed then I am able to 'just listen' and to look around without the effort of thinking and the veil of prejudice and to see things as they are. To see truth.

Anyway. To deal with my anger meditation is the best solution. Thanks again to remind me of it.